A Definitive Ranking Of Every “Real Housewives” Tagline Ever

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198. DeShawn Snow, Atlanta — Season 1

Destined for greatness, or just one season as a Housewife? Bravo

197. Karent Sierra, Miami — Season 2

We get it, you’re a dentist. Bravo

196. Jo De La Rosa, OC — Season 1

He didn’t keep you, though. You and Slade broke up, Jo. Bravo

195. Lydia Schiavello, Melbourne — Season 2

Is anyone on these shows a “traditional” housewife? Bravo

194. Bethenny Frankel, NYC — Seasons 1–3

Minus points for name-checking the city. Bravo

193. Stacie Turner, D.C. — Season 1

This is basically Bethenny’s tagline. Bravo

192. Kyle Richards, Beverly Hills — Season 3

Again, Bethenny’s tagline reworked. Bravo

191. Teresa Giudice, New Jersey — Season 3

+1 for not just saying “New Jersey is my state.” Bravo

190. Porsha Stewart, Atlanta — Season 5

What’s the opposite of a humble brag? Bravo

189. Melissa Gorga, New Jersey — Season 3

Oh, just a brag. Bravo

188. Kelly Killoren Bensimon, NYC — Seasons 2–3

It would be weird if you hated living it. Bravo

187. Marysol Patton, Miami — Season 1

Subtle plug for your PR firm, Marysol. Bravo

186. NeNe Leakes, Atlanta — Season 5

Did Marysol put the spotlight on you? Bravo

185. Lea Black, Miami — Season 3

But does it really? Bravo

184. Chyka Keebaugh, Melbourne — Season 1

And probably money. Bravo

183. Kyle Richards, Beverly Hills — Season 2

You and Chyka should combine your luck forces. Bravo

182. Jacqueline Laurita, New Jersey — Season 5

#inspirational Bravo

181. Kim Richards, Beverly Hills — Season 3

We need to restrict everyone’s use of the word “journey.” Bravo

180. Janet Roach, Melbourne — Season 2

+1 for the metaphor. Bravo

179. Caroline Manzo, New Jersey — Season 4

This is a lie. You’re on the Real Housewives. Bravo

178. Kandi Burruss, Atlanta — Season 7

Again, you’re a Housewife. Drama is your job. Bravo

177. Jacqueline Laurita, New Jersey — Season 3

Is anyone not their own person? Bravo

176. Lydia Schiavello, Melbourne — Season 1

Puns! Bravo

175. Michaele Salahi, D.C. — Season 1

You’d expect a better tagline from the woman who (allegedly) crashed a White House state dinner. Bravo

174. Camille Grammer, Beverly Hills — Season 1

Kelsey Grammer did call RHOBH his “parting gift” to Camille before their divorce. Bravo

173. Jackie Gillies, Melbourne — Season 1

Camille’s tagline + two extra shines. Bravo

172. Shereé Whitfield, Atlanta — Seasons 1–2

Three words: She By Shereé. Bravo

171. Cynthia Bailey, Atlanta — Seasons 3–4

If you say so. Bravo

170. Cat Ommanney, D.C. – Season 1

Like the show, which was canceled after one season. Bravo

169. Alexis Bellino, OC — Season 7

Would we? Bravo

168. Marysol Patton, Miami — Season 2

What does this even mean? Bravo

167. Kim Zolciak-Biermann, Atlanta — Season 5

#blessed Bravo

166. Melissa Gorga, New Jersey — Season 5

Literally. Take a page from Love Italian Style: The Secrets of My Hot and Happy Marriage by Melissa Gorga. Bravo

165. Phaedra Parks, Atlanta — Seasons 3–4

And this is why Phaedra is a lawyer/mortician/fitness instructor/etiquette expert. Bravo

164. Lydia McLaughlin, OC — Season 8

So, Lydia does not believe in reincarnation. Bravo

163. Kathy Wakile, New Jersey — Season 4

This is very Sopranos. Bravo

162. Lizzie Rovsek, OC — Season 9

True. Bravo

161. Heather Dubrow, OC — Season 8

Heather DuBrow, formerly the only brunette on RHOC. Bravo

160. NeNe Leakes, Atlanta — Seasons 3–4

When you leave a room, do you sell it? Bravo

159. Alexis Bellino, OC — Season 8

Only God — and millions of Bravo viewers — can judge you. Bravo

158. Tamra Judge, OC — Season 8

Technically if you start over, you’re wiping away everything you already did… so you can’t look back. Bravo

157. Amber Marchese, New Jersey — Season 6

Except all the other women on the show who you fought with, Amber. Bravo

156. Gretchen Rossi, OC — Season 6

What does sadness mean? Bravo

155. Gretchen Rossi, OC — Season 8

Would’ve been better with “I get tougher too.” Bravo

154. Peggy Tanous, OC — Season 6

This is so anti-soccer mom. Bravo

153. Tammy Knickerbocker, OC — Season 2

“Just me. I let me drive me crazy.” Bravo

152. Tamra Barney, OC — Season 3

Bold statement. Bravo

151. Heather Thomson, NYC — Season 6

Minus points for basically stealing Aviva’s tagline. Bravo

150. Aviva Drescher, NYC — Season 5

See, Heather just reworded this. Bravo

149. Alexia Echevarria, Miami — Season 1

Surprising this didn’t end with “And I do.” Bravo

148. Kim Zolciak, Atlanta — Seasons 1–2

“And I get mine from Big Papa.” Bravo

147. Lisa Vanderpump, Beverly Hills — Season 1

We’ve reached the end of the “In [city], [x} gives you [y]” section of taglines. Bravo

146. Alex McCord, NYC — Seasons 1–3

And one of those people is Jill Zarin (see below). Bravo

145. Jill Zarin, NYC — Seasons 1–3

This is what Alex was talking about. Bravo

144. Kyle Richards, Beverly Hills — Season 1

Hollywood is fake?! Bravo

143. Kyle Richards, Beverly Hills — Season 4

This is just Kyle’s Season 1 tagline recycled. Bravo

142. Brandi Glanville, Beverly Hills — Season 4

Sounds dangerous. Bravo

141. Tammy Knickerbocker, OC — Season 3

I don’t think this is true. Bravo

140. Adrienne Maloof, Beverly Hills — Season 1

“But I have a lot of money.” Bravo

139. Yolanda Foster, Beverly Hills — Season 5

“I also have a lot of money.” Bravo

138. Tamra Judge, OC — Season 9

The immortal Tamra Judge. Bravo

137. Cynthia Bailey, Atlanta — Season 5

But hold onto beauty as long as you can! Bravo

136. Lauri Peterson, OC — Season 3

OC lifestyle = ability to spend money. Bravo

135. Melissa Gorga, New Jersey — Season 6

Solid try at reworking “forgive and forget.” Bravo

134. Gina Liano, Melbourne — Season 2

Another attempt at updating an old adage, but it really just sounds like you mispronounced “fiction.” Bravo

133. NeNe Leakes, Atlanta — Season 6

Two different sayings brought together in one tagline. Bravo

132. Alex McCord, NYC — Season 4

Alex spoke those opinions…and was fired from the show. Bravo

131. Taylor Armstrong, Beverly Hills — Season 2

Hey, you stole Alex’s tagline! Bravo

130. Gina Liano, Melbourne — Season 1

Opinions are important to Housewives, apparently. Bravo

129. Teresa Giudice, New Jersey — Season 6

#FreeTre Bravo

128. Phaedra Parks, Atlanta — Season 7

If only Phaedra could’ve fit being a mortician into this tagline too. Bravo

127. Caroline Manzo, New Jersey — Season 1–2

“LET ME TELL YOU A SOMETHING ABOUT MY FAMBILY!” Bravo

126. Lynne Curtin, OC — Season 4

Honest. Bravo

125. Tamra Barney, OC — Season 5

That’s kind of subjective, though. Bravo

124. Joyce Giraud de Ohoven, Beverly Hills — Season 4

But, you can. Bravo

123. LuAnn de Lesseps, NYC — Season 5

Should’ve been, “Money can’t buy you class. Elegance is learned, my friends.” Amiright? Bravo

122. Chyka Keebaugh, Melbourne — Season 2

But you can also buy stylish things. Bravo

121. Brandi Glanville, Beverly Hills — Season 3

Someone’s read Class With the Countess: How to Live With Elegance and Flair by Luann de Lesseps. Bravo

120. Shereé Whitfield, Atlanta — Seasons 3–4

Few people are brave enough to call themselves “elegant and sophisticated.” Bravo

119. Sonja Morgan, NYC — Seasons 3–4

“But I also filed for bankruptcy.” Bravo

118. Cynthia Bailey, Atlanta — Season 6

Welcome to the “Housewives making work puns” section. Bravo

117. Heather Thomson, NYC — Season 5

This would’ve been lower, but the “Holla!” bumped it up on the list. Bravo

116. Vicki Gunvalson, OC — Season 5

Same deal as Heather — the “Woohoo!” saves this tagline. Bravo

115. Kandi Burruss, Atlanta — Season 6

Read: Don’t mess with Mama Joyce. Bravo

114. Tamra Barney, OC — Season 4

Is that a threat? Bravo

113. Adrienne Maloof, Beverly Hills — Season 2

And what if you’re not willing to work for it? Bravo

112. Heather Dubrow, OC — Season 9

Possibly the most used tagline in Housewives history. We’ll call this Example A. Bravo

111. Taylor Armstrong, Beverly Hills — Season 1

Example B. Bravo

110. LuAnn de Lesseps, NYC — Season 5

Example C. Bravo

109. Lisa Hochstein, Miami — Season 3

There has to be ONE person who doesn’t underestimate you, Lisa. Bravo

108. Lisa Rinna, Beverly Hills — Season 5

This subtle lips joke saved you, other Lisa. Bravo

107. Kathy Wakile, New Jersey — Season 3

Don’t kill us, Kathy. Bravo

106. Kenya Moore, Atlanta — Season 6

Minus points for stealing Kim Richards’ tagline. Bravo

105. Kim Richards, Beverly Hills — Season 2

See, Kenya stole it. Bravo

104. Kenya Moore, Atlanta — Season 7

And then reworded it. Bravo

103. Jeana Keough, OC — Season 1

Both solid and terrible advice. Bravo

102. Jeana Keough, OC — Season 2

Jeana’s tagline should’ve just been her shouting “money” over and over again. Bravo

101. Jeana Keough, OC — Season 3

She fucking loves money. Bravo

100. Vicki Gunvalson, OC — Season 3

Hilarious taken out of context. Bravo

99. Lisa Wu, Atlanta — Seasons 1–2

Fair enough. Bravo

98. Jeana Keough, OC — Season 5

Camille Grammer disagrees (see below). Bravo

97. Camille Grammer, Beverly Hills — Season 2

Ask Tamra what freedom gets you (see below). Bravo

96. Tamra Barney, OC — Season 6

No one can accuse Tamra of having low self-esteem. Bravo

95. Gretchen Rossi, OC — Season 4

Aren’t those the same thing? Bravo

94. Kandi Burruss, Atlanta — Season 3–4

Oh, look. More Housewives talking about money. Bravo

93. Kyle Richards, Beverly Hills — Season 5

“A very large, expensive home.” Bravo

92. Kim Richards, Beverly Hills — Season 5

The Richards sisters are pro-happiness. Bravo

91. Jo De La Rosa, OC — Season 2

OK… Bravo

90. Jacqueline Laurita, New Jersey — Seasons 1-2

“But I will show you all of my nice things on TV.” Bravo

89. Lauri Waring, OC — Season 2

Weird that this doesn’t end with Lauri screaming, “Suckas!” Bravo

88. Teresa Giudice, New Jersey — Seasons 1–2

Are you more jealous of Jersey girls… Bravo

87. Kim Zolciak, Atlanta — Seasons 3–4

Or gold diggers? Bravo

86. Adriana De Moura, Miami — Season 1

Impressive. Bravo

85. Adriana De Moura, Miami — Season 2

OK, we get it, you speak five languages. Also, independence is not a language. Bravo

84. Yolanda Foster, Beverly Hills — Season 4

And here we are at the “Housewives subtly call out their castmates” section. Bravo

83. Teresa Giudice, New Jersey — Season 4

“And they are not on this show.” Bravo

82. Adrienne Maloof, Beverly Hills — Season 3

*cough* Brandi *cough* Bravo

81. Caroline Manzo, New Jersey — Season 3

“And I’ll punch you if you mess with my fambily.” Bravo

80. Shannon Beador, OC — Season 9

“You know why Tamra’s hair is so big? It’s full of secrets.” Bravo

79. Adriana De Moura, Miami — Season 3

And those surprises are secrets! Bravo

78. Jeana Keough, OC — Season 4

Moving onto the “I call the shots” section. Bravo

77. Tamra Barney, OC — Season 7

But calling the shots and making the shots are different things, Tamra. Bravo

76. Cindy Barshop, NYC — Season 4

And introducing the “my own terms” lineup. Bravo

75. Porsha Williams, Atlanta — Season 6

“Own rules” is a synonym for “own terms.” Bravo

74. Kandi Burruss, Atlanta — Season 2

We get it, you all call the shots. Bravo

73. Vicki Gunvalson, OC — Season 6

This is getting tiresome. Bravo

72. Ramona Singer, NYC — Seasons 1–3

Way to liven it up by alluding to sex, Ramona. Bravo

71. Vicki Gunvalson, OC — Season 8

“Which I can give myself, because I’m my own boss!” Bravo

70. Kandi Burruss, Atlanta — Season 5

True fans know it’s really “I may be small — ♫oooooh♫ — but my empire keeps on growing.” Bravo

69. Vicki Gunvalson, OC — Season 9

“Also, I make my own money and I am my own boss. WOOHOO!” Bravo

68. Phaedra Parks, Atlanta — Season 5

+1 for referencing the great donkey booty/stallion booty battle. Bravo

67. Jacqueline Laurita, New Jersey — Season 4

Why doesn’t Vegas have a Housewives? Bravo

66. Larsa Pippen, Miami — Season 1

Time for “game” puns! Bravo

65. Lisa Vanderpump, Beverly Hills — Season 2

“Checkmate, bitch.” —Brandi Glanville Bravo

64. Yolanda Foster, Beverly Hills — Season 3

“Especially yours, Lisa.” Bravo

63. Lisa Vanderpump, Beverly Hills — Season 4

What a fun way to reword “Life in Beverly Hills is a game, and I make the rules.” Bravo

62. Vicki Gunvalson, OC — Season 7

#LoveTank Bravo

61. Gretchen Rossi, OC — Season 5

Self-esteem is important. Bravo

60. Alexis Bellino, OC — Season 5

Well, at least you know it. Bravo

59. Kelly Killoren Bensimon, NYC — Season 4

Remember when Kelly ran in Manhattan traffic for fun? Bravo

58. Cristy Rice, Miami — Season 1

And the “keeping it real” section. Bravo

57. Ramona Singer, NYC — Season 4

Ramona Singer, making fellow Housewives cry since 2008. Bravo

56. Jackie Gillies, Melbourne — Season 2

+1 for light/shine pun! Bravo

55. Caroline Manzo, New Jersey — Season 5

Caroline Manzo, making fellow Housewives cry since 2009. Bravo

54. Lea Black, Miami — Season 1

AKA, “I’ll give you my opinion, but I don’t want to hear yours.” Bravo

53. Ramona Singer, NYC — Season 5

The blunter version of “If people can’t handle the truth, it’s really not my problem.” Bravo

52. Ana Quincoces, Miami — Season 2

Like Phaedra, Ana has a “slash”: lawyer/chef. Bravo

51. Kathy Wakile, New Jersey — Season 5

“My kitchen, where I make my dessert line, Indulge by Kathy Wakile.” Bravo

50. Taylor Armstrong, Beverly Hills — Season 3

But she will still go “Oklahoma on your ass.” Bravo

49. Lauri Peterson, OC — Season 4

Problem is, you’re not a real princess. Bravo

48. Carole Radziwill, NYC — Season 5

Carole actually is a real princess. Bravo

47. Gretchen Rossi, OC — Season 7

+1 for being anti-princess. Bravo

46. Melissa Gorga, New Jersey — Season 4

One of the better play on words made by a Housewife. Bravo

45. Joanna Krupa, Miami — Season 3

“And because I have it all.” Bravo

44. Claudia Jordan, Atlanta — Season 7

“And because I’m beautiful.” Bravo

43. Phaedra Parks, Atlanta — Season 6

Is this a MasterCard ad? Bravo

42. Kim Richards, Beverly Hills — Season 1

“But also, cast me in things!” Bravo

41. Alexia Echevarria, Miami — Season 3

It seems that the phrase “Cuban Barbie” didn’t clear legal. Bravo

40. Pettifleur Berenger, Melbourne — Season 2

Get it? “Pettifleur” means “little flower,” guys. Bravo

39. Kim Richards, Beverly Hills — Season 4

Or Valerie Cherish. Bravo

38. Cynthia Bailey, Atlanta — Season 7

Would anyone ever not choose themselves? Bravo

37. Sonja Morgan, NYC — Season 5

+1 Sonja for being the first Housewife to include her name in her tagline. Bravo

36. Kenya Moore, Atlanta — Season 5

Well, that’s obvious. Bravo

35. Vicki Gunvalson, OC — Season 2

Except when it comes to plastic surgery. Bravo

34. Carlton Gebbia, Beverly Hills — Season 4

“Fuck.” —Carlton’s money Bravo

33. Teresa Aprea and Nicole Napolitano, New Jersey — Season 6

Poor girls have to share everything, including their tagline. Bravo

32. Andrea Moss, Melbourne — Season 1

Especially when that plastic surgeon is her husband. Bravo

31. Lisa Hochstein, Miami — Season 2

“Plastic surgeon” seems to be the No. 1 career choice among the Real Housewives husbands. Bravo

30. Heather Dubrow, OC — Season 7

+1 Heather for being the first to name-drop her husband/plastic surgeon. Bravo

29. Quinn Fry, OC — Season 3

Creepy, because that’s her son hanging in the background. Bravo

28. Vicki Gunvalson, OC — Season 4

This one’s great because the “I want them both” part is redundant. Bravo

27. NeNe Leakes, Atlanta — Seasons 1–2

Bloop! Bravo

26. LuAnn de Lesseps, NYC — Seasons 1–3

And if you did, you wouldn’t be a Housewife. Bravo

25. Gamble Breaux, Melbourne — Season 2

Possibly the best use of one’s own name in a tagline. Bravo

24. Mary Amons, D.C. — Season 1

A basic requirement of a Housewife. Bravo

23. Lynne Curtin, OC — Season 6

Mind you, Lynne was evicted from her home and later filed for bankruptcy. Bravo

22. Brandi Glanville, Beverly Hills — Season 5

Words to live by. Bravo

21. Kimberly Bryant, OC — Season 1

The first season OC taglines were just gems of quotes from the show. Bravo

20. Lauri Waring, OC — Season 1

Again, gems. Bravo

19. Lynda Erkiletian, D.C. — Season 1

The scariest tagline ever. Bravo

18. Dina Manzo, New Jersey — Seasons 1–2

She’s talking to you, Danielle Staub. Bravo

17. Eileen Davidson, Beverly Hills — Season 5

And, surprisingly, it wasn’t on RHOBH. Bravo

16. Joanna Krupa, Miami — Season 2

Solid play on words. Bravo

15. Kristen Taekman, NYC — Season 6

Quite the way to introduce yourself to the audience. Bravo

14. Lisa Vanderpump, Beverly Hills — Season 3

It SHOULD. Bravo

13. Janet Roach, Melbourne — Season 1

This makes no sense and all the sense at the same time. Bravo

12. Alexis Bellino, OC — Season 6

Alexis somehow worked God and sex into one thought. Bravo

11. Lea Black, Miami — Season 2

Amen. Bravo

10. Sonja Morgan, NYC — Season 6

And now we’re all picturing Sonja panty-less. Bravo

9. Danielle Staub, New Jersey — Seasons 1–2

So great, Dina Manzo’s daughter made it her yearbook quote. Bravo

8. Teresa Giudice, New Jersey — Season 5

Possible inspiration for Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off.” Bravo

7. Ramona Singer, NYC — Season 6

And by Pinot, she means Ramona Pinot Grigio. Bravo

6. NeNe Leakes, Atlanta — Season 7

Bloop, again! Bravo

5. Aviva Drescher, NYC — Season 6

Her fake leg…which she threw across a restaurant. Bravo

4. Lisa Vanderpump, Beverly Hills — Season 5

This tagline elicited a “Yaaass” across the internet when it premiered. Bravo

3. Dina Manzo, New Jersey — Season 6

Because, “Namaste, bitches.” Bravo

2. Vicki Gunvalson, OC — Season 1

The OG tagline from the OC. Bravo

1. Carole Radziwill, NYC — Season 6

The greatest tagline of all time. Bravo

Only Real Housewives broadcast on Bravo were included in this ranking. Bravo / Via realitytvgifs.tumblr.com

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