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29 Existential Crises All Single People Have At A Wedding

How much gin is too much gin?

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1. The moment you arrive at the venue without a plus-one.

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2. And you start noticing no one else is alone.

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3. And they're all stopping to sign the guest book together.

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4. Or dropping off presents.

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5. And you didn't bring a gift.

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6. Because you had no one to split the cost with.

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7. Then, you have to find a seat in the sea of couples.

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8. And someone asks if you need to save a seat for your date.

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9. You look away, but you lock eyes with a groomsman as he adjusts his tie.

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10. Then you spend the ceremony worried you'll get stuck at the weird singles table.

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11. But when it's reception time, you find out there is no singles table...and you have to sit with all couples.

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12. And when they're all called to the floor for the couples dance, you're left alone at the table.

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13. So you escape for a drink.

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14. But you discover it's a cash bar.

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15. You sit back down just as someone clinks a glass for the bride and groom to kiss.

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16. The food comes, and you're forced to answer personal questions over cold chicken.

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17. You sit through a series of inside-joke-filled toasts.

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18. The photographer surprises your table with a rapid-fire, "candid" photo shoot.

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19. You start to come alive again when the cake is cut.

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20. But then, the DJ announces the garter and bouquet tosses.

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21. Which are inevitably followed by all single people being called to the dance floor for a "Single Ladies" dance-off.

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22. You exchange a knowing glance with your few fellow single guests.

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23. Couples then invade the dance floor for the "Cupid Shuffle."

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24. You slink into the corner to nurse your one $10 cocktail.

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25. The last sips of which are spilled when the conga line swings into you.

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26. Before you know it, you're all forced outside for the sparkler farewell.

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27. The bride and groom ride off.

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28. You escape just as the DJ starts playing "Last Dance."

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29. And you can finally collapse in your hotel room to reflect on the night.

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