1. “If I’m ever late — page me.”
Argument: I’ll come home as soon as you page me.
Reality: Your parents can page you as much as they want, because the minute you come home you’re going to say, “I forgot to bring it with me,” or, “Oh, I didn’t realize I had accidently turned it off.”
2. “We can make this connection.”
Argument: We will talk more now because you can easily reach me.
Reality: You’re going to continue to keep up as minimal communication with your parents as possible.
3. “I am never going to take this to school.”
Argument: I won’t ever take it to school.
Reality: Are you kidding? This is coming to school with you every day, and you’re going to coordinate the pager case with your outfits.
4. “Your pages come first.”
Argument: You’re important and I respect you, dear parents, so your pages come first.
Reality: Actually, your friends pages come first. And when you’re around your friends, you’re definitely going to pretend that you’re not getting pages from your parents.
5. Now relive your arguments with Motorola’s “Dad, I want a pager” commercial:
- A draft of a plan to repeal Obamacare was released that'll block federal funds from Planned Parenthood and cut healthcare benefits granted under the law.
- The widow of a Kansas immigrant who was allegedly killed by a white nationalist demanded answers from the government about stopping hate crimes in the US.
- Time to change your passwords: Uber and Fitbit are among the millions of websites that may have been compromised 🔐
- A billboard in North Carolina that claims "Real men provide. Real women appreciate it," has sparked controversy across the country 👀