Skip To Content

    People Are Sharing First Date Behaviors That Instantly Set Off Red Flags, And You’re Probably Doing Some

    "If he comes to pick you up and pees in your driveway before y'all leave." 🚩🚩🚩

    Dating is fun! But honestly, it can also be a lot of work too. Not only do you have to put yourself out there, but you also more often than not have to go on a few bad first dates before you find that someone who you'd want to see again.

    And last year, a Reddit user had a thread go viral when they asked the AskReddit community, "What first date behavior is a dealbreaker?"

    Well, like I mentioned, thousands of redditors had responses for the things they considered red flags. Here are some of the top-voted and best comments:

    1. "Showing up late and not texting ahead of time. You're not 'playing it cool' if you're 20 minutes late without saying anything."

    Dajerts


    "I went on a first date about a year ago. We met for lunch on a work day for me (I have a flexible schedule). She was 30 minutes late and then for some reason parked three blocks away even though the place had an empty parking lot, which took her another 15 minutes to walk to.

    During lunch she mentions she was late because she had to stop at Target and Starbucks, which really pissed me off. There was no second date."
    CO_PC_Parts

    2. "Forgetting to take off your wedding ring."

    apathyontheeast

    3. "Lacking respect for servers and other working people."

    Hatecraftianhorror

    "I read a quote by Dave Barry once that said, "A person who is nice to you but not nice to the server is not a nice person," and it’s VERY accurate.

    AeAeR

    4. "Taking me to a multi-level marketing seminar. (This actually happened.)"

    JackTheJackerJacket

    5. "Constantly being on your cellphone. Seriously, man. That’s so uncool."

    Ornery_Shirt_2658


    "Yeah, I don’t get this. I don’t even spend time on my phone when I’m having a drink with a friend. Can’t understand why people are tweeting or whatever during a date."
    valuesandnorms

    6. "Introducing me to your boyfriend."

    YetAnotherWTFMoment

    "Been there; 'Do you mind if my boyfriend joins us? It won't be weird, I promise.' She was wrong."

    coolnamesarehardtodo

    7. "They won't stop talking about their ex."

    higbee77

    "Had his ex call four times within 15 minutes. Yeah, noped right out of that one."

    hopalongsmiles

    8. "If he comes to pick you up and pees in your driveway before y'all leave."

    southerncraftgurl

    9. "Starting the date by saying that you've cleared your entire weekend, just in case this date works out and I'm free. No pressure."

    TOMSDOTTIR

    "Or bringing his overnight bag into your house when he picks you up.

    'Not a big deal, it’s whatever...what do you mean, I should leave?'"

    evilshenanigan

    10. "I think when they don't even ask you about yourself (maybe that sounds weird). I had a date that would be constantly talking about her life and friends and whatnot. I would ask her questions too, but she never once asked anything about me."

    mercah44

    11. "Making me do all the work, conversation-wise. I don’t mind being the lead driver, but you need to at least pull your own weight. I’ve been on some dates that felt more like interviews. I would try everything I could to get an actual conversation going but they ended up as Q&A sessions."

    valuesandnorms

    12. "I didn’t know this one until recently. Picking wax out of your ears and sprinkling it around. Don’t. Just don’t, OK?"

    Starting2018

    13. "Too handsy right out the gate. You're still basically a stranger, I need to get to know you first."

    tomorrowistomato

    14. "Smelly, greasy hair, and no effort in appearance. If the first date isn't important enough for you to even shower, then how important will the relationship be to you?"

    brittacurls

    "Dressing like a slob and if they smell like they haven’t showered in a week.

    I’ve dated tradies who can clean up within an hour after work to arrive on a date. So there’s no reason why Mr. Math Teacher can’t lift a finger on a weekend."

    spagbetti

    15. "Possessive behavior. If this is how you act with someone you've just met, how would a relationship with you be?"

    pink-eyebrows

    "I had a guy buy me a toothbrush after a third date so I can use it when I'm staying over at his house. He also wanted to see me every day of the week after the first date and got insulted if I denied. Then he would ask about every little detail that I did when I was not seeing him. 'I'm just not that social person and I don't want to see anyone 24/7 for four days in a row' wasn't a good enough reason."

    unenkuva

    16. "Finding out that the reason why they asked you out is because they wanted to make their ex jealous. To make it worse, she had her friend invite the ex-boyfriend as well."

    somethingrandomjk

    17. "Immediately starting with the 'I love you' attitude."

    koravel

    "Had a woman tell me she thought she loved me about halfway through our first date once. I brushed it off as flirty banter, but then toward the end of our meal she says 'You know how I know you love me? You didn’t say that you didn’t love me when I said I loved you.'"

    JonWoo89

    18. "Not a very big deal, but I pay a lot of attention to this one. Most common topic on first dates is hobbies, interests, and tastes. Many dates will quickly backpedal and change their mind if I disagree on something. It can be about music, food, a place, etc. If you said that you liked it then don't change your mind after I say that I don't. Shows insecurity and it comes off as disingenuous. We are allowed to be different."

    JuniorLobster

    19. "Going on a dinner (or lunch, breakfast, etc.) date and ordering nothing because you ate before you came or aren’t hungry. It's incredibly awkward to be the person on the other side of that since you showed up hungry and now you’re supposed to just eat in front of the other person like that’s not weird? If I’m ever single again and this happens again, I’m just going to go home 😂."

    Momonthecoast


    "I once MADE DINNER for the man, who sat there, not eating anything, and then said he had to leave early because he had a dinner date.

    And I never bothered to even speak to him again."

    FlinkeMeisje

    20. "Asking me to blow him before even having a real conversation. This actually happened."

    NICD_03

    21. "Showing up absolutely hammered and passing out within an hour."

    elevenminutesago

    22. "Criticism is a big no for me on a first date. I can take criticism, it’s just that first dates should be about getting to know someone, not judging them."

    frozeneskimo02


    "F**king this. Went on a date with a guy who gave me rules for dinner (similar ones his daughter had (she was...6-ish, I was 25). Then, on a walk at a park, he insulted my favorite Pokémon (Sableye) insistently and encouraged me to pick a 'cuter, more fitting Pokémon.' None of this is bad per se, but it's red flags for me."
    perfectsmoot

    23. "Completely different beliefs and politics. I’ve had multiple guys bring me a Bible and segue into asking me to dinner to teach me about the Lord. They never understood why I wasn’t excited."

    Mander2019

    24. "If they spend the whole time looking bored and disinterested. At least pretend you’re having fun, or tell me you want to go home. Don’t make me sit here uncomfortably for two hours and give me one-word answers constantly."

    Iron_Chip

    And finally...

    25. "Talking about all the conspiracy theories they believe in. No, Chaz, it isn’t a commonly held belief that all of the US presidents descended from the same bloodline."

    desert_to_rainforest

    You can read the full thread of responses on Reddit.

    Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.