Dating is fun! But honestly, it can also be a lot of work too. Not only do you have to put yourself out there, but you also more often than not have to go on a few bad first dates before you find that someone who you'd want to see again.
And last year, a Reddit user had a thread go viral when they asked the AskReddit community, "What first date behavior is a dealbreaker?"
Well, like I mentioned, thousands of redditors had responses for the things they considered red flags. Here are some of the top-voted and best comments:
1. "Showing up late and not texting ahead of time. You're not 'playing it cool' if you're 20 minutes late without saying anything."
"I went on a first date about a year ago. We met for lunch on a work day for me (I have a flexible schedule). She was 30 minutes late and then for some reason parked three blocks away even though the place had an empty parking lot, which took her another 15 minutes to walk to.
During lunch she mentions she was late because she had to stop at Target and Starbucks, which really pissed me off. There was no second date."
10. "I think when they don't even ask you about yourself (maybe that sounds weird). I had a date that would be constantly talking about her life and friends and whatnot. I would ask her questions too, but she never once asked anything about me."
11. "Making me do all the work, conversation-wise. I don’t mind being the lead driver, but you need to at least pull your own weight. I’ve been on some dates that felt more like interviews. I would try everything I could to get an actual conversation going but they ended up as Q&A sessions."
12. "I didn’t know this one until recently. Picking wax out of your ears and sprinkling it around. Don’t. Just don’t, OK?"
13. "Too handsy right out the gate. You're still basically a stranger, I need to get to know you first."
14. "Smelly, greasy hair, and no effort in appearance. If the first date isn't important enough for you to even shower, then how important will the relationship be to you?"
"Dressing like a slob and if they smell like they haven’t showered in a week.
I’ve dated tradies who can clean up within an hour after work to arrive on a date. So there’s no reason why Mr. Math Teacher can’t lift a finger on a weekend."
15. "Possessive behavior. If this is how you act with someone you've just met, how would a relationship with you be?"
"I had a guy buy me a toothbrush after a third date so I can use it when I'm staying over at his house. He also wanted to see me every day of the week after the first date and got insulted if I denied. Then he would ask about every little detail that I did when I was not seeing him. 'I'm just not that social person and I don't want to see anyone 24/7 for four days in a row' wasn't a good enough reason."
16. "Finding out that the reason why they asked you out is because they wanted to make their ex jealous. To make it worse, she had her friend invite the ex-boyfriend as well."
17. "Immediately starting with the 'I love you' attitude."
"Had a woman tell me she thought she loved me about halfway through our first date once. I brushed it off as flirty banter, but then toward the end of our meal she says 'You know how I know you love me? You didn’t say that you didn’t love me when I said I loved you.'"
18. "Not a very big deal, but I pay a lot of attention to this one. Most common topic on first dates is hobbies, interests, and tastes. Many dates will quickly backpedal and change their mind if I disagree on something. It can be about music, food, a place, etc. If you said that you liked it then don't change your mind after I say that I don't. Shows insecurity and it comes off as disingenuous. We are allowed to be different."
19. "Going on a dinner (or lunch, breakfast, etc.) date and ordering nothing because you ate before you came or aren’t hungry. It's incredibly awkward to be the person on the other side of that since you showed up hungry and now you’re supposed to just eat in front of the other person like that’s not weird? If I’m ever single again and this happens again, I’m just going to go home 😂."
"I once MADE DINNER for the man, who sat there, not eating anything, and then said he had to leave early because he had a dinner date.
And I never bothered to even speak to him again."
20. "Asking me to blow him before even having a real conversation. This actually happened."
22. "Criticism is a big no for me on a first date. I can take criticism, it’s just that first dates should be about getting to know someone, not judging them."
"F**king this. Went on a date with a guy who gave me rules for dinner (similar ones his daughter had (she was...6-ish, I was 25). Then, on a walk at a park, he insulted my favorite Pokémon (Sableye) insistently and encouraged me to pick a 'cuter, more fitting Pokémon.' None of this is bad per se, but it's red flags for me."