Earlier today, Reddit user DurableRestriction17asked a serious question to the married people of the AskReddit community: "What advice would you give to young couples?"
The thread had hundreds of great replies, as married people shared things they have learned over the course of their relationships. Here are some of the top-voted and best comments:
1."Don't stress over the little shit. You'll get annoyed at things you didn't even think possible — like how they organize themselves, how they load the dishwasher, difference in opinions for trivial things. Let that shit go."
2."Go to sleep angry! Fighting while tired doesn’t accomplish anything. Revisit the argument the next day when you’re both fully rested and had time to think."
3."Best advice I ever got: have realistic expectations of each other. Unmet expectations are the root of unhappiness."
4."Communication, respect, honesty, and understanding are the cornerstones to a good relationship. Also, I would wait a few years to have kids if you are planning on having any."
5."Have fun as a couple, start your professional careers or at least finish any bucket list items, like traveling, before having kids."
6."You are allowed to spend time away from your partner, you can have a friend group that are not part of your partner's friend group. And if you have kids, remember that you are partners, not just parents."
7."Ten years from now, you and your spouse probably won’t be the exact same people that you are today. This can lead to conflict down the road. Try to find compromise and understand each other’s point of view."
8."Sex and money! Figure that shit out early, it's what causes sooo many problems. An extra 'session' in the bed for 15 minutes a week can sometimes save a marriage. And be honest about money."
9."Don’t rush into getting married, take the time to get to know each other and how you will work and communicate together. Make sure you’re on the same page on the important subjects."
10."As someone going through divorce right now, never, ever betray your spouse’s trust. It’s impossible to rebuild. I made a mistake and am paying the ultimate price for it. I miss my wife."
11."Don’t say 'I’m helping my wife' when it comes to housework. You live there, you have eyes, just get up and do what needs to be done. Don’t expect your wife to manage the house and your life for you. She’s not your mother and does not want to be, especially if you have children."
12."Do things your spouse enjoys, and don't keep score. For example, my wife loves going to soccer games but I don't, and I love horror movies but my wife doesn't. But I still go to games with her, and she still watches horror movies with me. Support each others' hobbies and interests."
13."Couples counseling. It's so much easier to do couples counseling when things are going well than to wait for everything to go sour and try to fix it."
14."Don't talk shit about each other to your friends or family members. You're a team. If you have a complaint and need to tell someone, be honest with your partner about it rather than telling a third party."
15."Fight the issue, not each other."
You can read the full thread of responses on Reddit.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.