1. Having one or two Garbage Pail Kids cards that grossed you out so much you kept them at the bottom of a drawer:
2. Hoping that whenever they showed a Tootsie Pop commercial that it wasn't the one with Mr. Owl — 'cause he was a pompous asshole:
3. Having a 95% chance of getting at least one Ziggy card for your birthday:
4. Wanting a Clapper because of the commercial (truly the smart-house appliance of its time):
5. Knowing to never touch the balloons on this lamp when it was on 'cause it would burn you:
6. And knowing never to touch the top of this desk lamp 'cause it would burn the HELL out of your hand:
7. Seeing these posters in your school library and actually being encouraged by them to pick up a book:
8. And wanting to earn this cool pin that encouraged you to read books — well, in order to get free Pizza Hut pizza:
9. Being freaked the fuck out by Max Headroom — basically 'cause you thought he was going to come out through the TV and grab you:
10. Having your parents tell you to NEVER put your mouth near the receiver when using a payphone 'cause it was dirty and full of germs:
11. Walking by the Disney Store and being completely mesmerized because it looked like a neon Art Deco movie theatre:
12. Straining your eyes to watch TV on a portable player but still thinking it was the coolest thing ever:
13. Looking for dirt around the house just so you could clean it up with the Dustbuster:
14. Stuffing your face with these delicious cheezy ~delicacies~:
15. Trick-or-treating with plastic Halloween bags that immediately hurt your fingers when you put half a pound of candy in them:
16. Making popcorn in one of these:
17. Wanting your parents to buy a Garfield phone for the house:
18. Spooning your yummy Nestle Quik powder out of a metal tin:
19. Getting a hankering for some cheese every time you saw a Time for Timer PSA:
20. Yelling, "I saw it by watching you!" every time this anti-drug PSA ran:
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21. Owning at least one "Joe Cool" T-shirt or sweater:
22. Having the urge to smell your hands after you were done playing with slime:
23. Burning the back of your legs whenever you went down a metal slide on a hot day:
24. Finding this Godzilla toy in your toy box and literally having ZERO idea where it came from:
25. Wanting so badly to order these prank toys that came in the back of random comics and kids magazines (also why did the graphics always look like they hadn't been updated since the '50s?):
26. Always making sure to be careful when closing your Fisher-Price Medical Kit 'cause you didn't want to pinch your fingers (again) in it:
27. Annoying your parents by playing one of these beep machines in the car:
28. Trying to avoid sitting by the tree with the dead eyes that stared into your soul whenever you ate at McDonald's:
29. Playing with McDonald's coffee spoons 'cause they were OH-SO TINY and CUTE:
30. Putting your two index fingers together — at least once — to see if you freeze time like Evie from Out of This World:
31. Having at least one Art Deco revival vase or lamp in your house and thinking it was fancy:
32. Getting a craving for pizza while playing Pizza Party:
33. And feeling like Indiana Jones when playing Fireball Island:
34. Low-key judging the messy characters from the Sweet Pickles series:
35. Ultimately burning yourself — as much as you tried to avoid it — with the metal seatbelt buckles on hot summer days:
36. Getting a thrill whenever the F.H.E. logo appeared before your favorite video:
37. Secretly licking the foil from a Ding Dong wrapper after you were done eating it:
38. Running straight to the sticker section whenever you went to a craft or stationery store:
39. Also, having a ton of teddy bear stickers (why did the '80s love teddy bear stickers?):
40. Have the Fisher-Price Little People Parking Ramp play set and only playing with it by having the cars race down the ramp:
41. Dropping your lemonade or punch at least once 'cause you carried this pitcher by its handle (the handle was USELESS!!!):
42. Drinking your mom's Crystal Light behind her back 'cause it was so good:
43. Thinking Whatchamacallit was some kind of bougie, avant-garde candy because of the commercial for it:
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44. Always anticipating that little bit of plastic flavor whenever you drank from one of these thermoses:
45. Immediately flipping to all the different outcomes you could get when reading a Choose Your Own Adventure book:
46. Being terrified of these monster Cabbage Patch Kids dolls:
47. Making sure you always got an Icee whenever you went to K-Mart or Target with your parents:
48. Thinking you were hot shit if you had one of these radio alarm clocks in your room:
49. Immediately regretting sitting on one of these folding chairs if you were wearing shorts:
50. Thinking General Foods International Coffees were the fanciest coffees you could drink because of the commercials:
51. Going to your grandma's and seeing this exact Tupperware set...
52. ...and a ceramic clog knickknack or two (which you would of course play with):
53. Being told not to play near giant TV satellite dishes 'cause it wasn't good for you:
54. Getting random Frisbees as promotional giveaways:
55. Playing with an Aerobie for the first time and having your mind blown at how far it could travel:
56. Starting out your day with one of these ~nutritious~ breakfasts before heading out to school:
57. Storing your eraser collections and pencils in cool cardboard pencil boxes at school:
58. Thinking Hootbot was super cute until its eyes turned red and freaked you out:
59. Putting on the radio just so you could watch the Coca-Cola dance along to the music:
