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    Divorce Lawyers Are Sharing Stories About Clients So Bad, They Secretly Hoped The Judge Would Rule Against Them

    "Both parties were fighting over two little kids…because neither parent wanted them 😢."

    Whether you've ever lived through one or not, you know that 99% of the time, divorces are a messy situation. And on top of being messy, a divorce can also bring out the worst in the people going through it.

    A couple of days ago, Reddit user u/SupergirlKrypton asked this question to the AskReddit community: "Divorce lawyers of Reddit, what client of yours was so bad that you personally hoped they wouldn’t get anything in a settlement?"

    The thread had thousands of responses. Here are some of the top-voted and best comments from divorce lawyers as well as people who shared their own stories:

    1. "Client got caught cheating on his wife and wanted a divorce but didn’t have the balls to tell her, so he asked me to inform her he was filing for divorce two days after she had his child."


    "Good lord, man, what a complete and utter coward. Having a kid is hard. I try not to judge people who split not too long after having a kid, because it really does bring to the surface things about a significant other that you wouldn't find out unless you had a kid, and I don't think a miserable couple is good for a kid necessarily.

    "But I'm talking about after a couple of years of trying to see if you can make it work and working on your relationship. How are you going to skate two days after the baby is born?"


    2. "I did have a case where my client fought really hard for the dog and then ended up turning him over to a shelter. Fucking asshole. The ex-wife received an 'anonymous tip' and was able to get him back quickly."


    "What your client did was abhorrent. Wow."


    "Props to the anonymous tipster, though."

    3. "I work for a divorce attorney now, but the craziest thing came to my attention when I worked for the prosecuting attorney. This couple was breaking up, and Mister left the house. Missus went to work the next morning as usual. When she returned home in the evening, she found Mister had been to the house and removed his clothing and belongings as she expected. What she didn't expect was that he had also super-glued her belongings together."

    "He glued the TV remote to the table, the phone to its cradle, the couch pillows to the couch, and even glued the vacuum cleaner to the carpet. She called the police and reported this as property damage. The police went with her through the house documenting dozens of items glued to various things, but for days she was discovering random things, and she would call to amend or update her report. 'My GD oven mitts were glued to the wall' or 'He glued the effing sheets together in the linen closet!'

    "I've seen people do and say really awful things to each other, but that was diabolical."


    4. "It's not that I hoped my client would get's just that he was screwing himself, AND I TOLD HIM HE WAS SCREWING HIMSELF, and he refused to listen. I represented the husband in a nasty divorce case. Custody fights. Protective orders. Subpoenas for text messages. Allegations of infidelity on both sides. Lots of assets in play. The guy had a stereo installation business. Mostly in-home theater stuff. Good margins, good money."

    "Legally, it was going okay...until my client started giving his wife temporary maintenance payments USING COMPANY CHECKS. I said, 'Hey, bud, that is unwise.' See, if you treat your business like a personal asset, the court will conclude it should be treated like a personal asset, viz, shared 50-50. My client disagreed with this. He felt it was important to show the court how good his business was doing.

    "As it turns out, the judge DID think it was important, and the wife essentially got a 50% share of the business's profits. Book-learnin' folks call this 'hubris.'"


    5. "My ex was a lawyer, and the saddest case was when both parties were fighting over two little kids…because neither parent wanted them 😢."


    "I went to school with a kid in that kind of situation. Parents divorced, neither wanted him. Dad ended up with him, got remarried, divorced again, and left his son with the stepmom. Both bio-parents basically disappeared from his life before he even hit 10 years old. Unsurprisingly, the kid had a lot of issues."


    6. "I was a paralegal on a case where two oil-industry heirs were fighting over their kids, each saying the other parent was causing emotional harm to the children as a way to get attention. Neither parent worked — each of them pulled in $100,000 A MONTH in trust money! The children were 15 and 12, and the parents had been litigating since they were born."

    "There was no physical abuse, each parent was a capable parent, but rather than love their children, they chose to spend an ungodly amount of money fighting each other. The attorneys were happy to pull in the paychecks each month, so there was hardly ever any talking of resolution, agreement, settlement, etc."


    7. "While going through initial divorce, my ex wrote up most of his own stuff and had his lawyer sign off. My ex was a disbarred Yale Law grad who knew nothing about family law. He was also an extreme narcissist/sociopath who couldn't grasp that everything wasn't his. His lawyer called my lawyer to apologize on a professional level for the documents he was about to send — explaining that my ex insisted. He wanted her to know he didn't write it and it wasn't to be taken seriously."


    "My ex's lawyer apologizing to my lawyer also happened a lot throughout my divorce and was oddly satisfying, in an 'Oh, so it really wasn't just me' kind of way. I ended up on an email chain with me, my lawyer, and my ex's lawyer, but not my ex, which generally consisted of my ex's lawyer going, 'Yeah...sorry' and occasionally asking me if I knew how to get ahold of my ex because he kept ghosting his own lawyer."


    8. "There was a situation where a married guy was dating a sex worker he met on Craigslist. She convinced him to pay for her boob job; he wrote a really big check and she got boobs. During our investigation, we found out that she sold the same boob job to three different guys. When I realized it while going through her text messages, I was totally Ron Burgundy, like, 'I'm not even mad, that's amazing.' After the divorce, the dude ended up marrying her and having to pay back one of the other boyfriends."


    9. "Not a divorce lawyer, but this happened with a family member. Both parties were unhappy and mutually decided they didn't want to be married anymore. This was back in the day when it was more viable to be a single-income family. She was a homemaker for 30-plus years, raising their four kids. He was fine with her leaving and them getting a divorce. However, he felt that she shouldn't get anything in the divorce. She didn't deserve the house or one of the cars or any portion of the savings/retirement because he was the one who worked. Since he was the only one who worked, every one of the assets was his to keep."

    "Obviously, their respective divorce lawyers, and the court, disagreed. He went through three different lawyers, each of whom fired him because of his abusive attitude when they weren't able to secure the divorce judgment he wanted (he keeps everything, she gets nothing). Then he decided that the court wasn't allowed to pass any judgments in the case if he wasn't present. So he just stopped attending any of the hearings. Which worked the first two times. After rescheduling twice, the court lost patience and just ruled in her favor on every item because he wasn't there to contest anything. I'm very sure that in the end, they just followed the state's given guidelines for dividing things up. But yeah...he probably deserved to get burned a bit more than he did, given how he handled it all."


    10. "Had a client whose wife wanted him out of the house. I told him not to leave, just move to a different bedroom for the time being, because once he was out, the chances of him ever getting back in were slim."

    "He texted his wife and told her he was staying in the house. She called back and left a voicemail that she wanted him out and if he wasn't out soon, she would start taking out her unhappiness on the children and would remind them that Mommy was being mean to them because Daddy wouldn't leave."


    11. "Haven't worked in family law in years, but I still remember two clients who were just terrible people. One raged that they would quit the armed forces just before their retirement vested so their former spouse wouldn't get anything (and neither would the client); imagine hating someone you once loved enough to hurt yourself. The other didn't want their kids but also didn't want to pay child support, so they were fighting tooth and nail for as much custody as possible."


    12. "The ex-wife moved to a different county, one where she was family friends with the judge, and got everything. She technically kidnapped the kids when she left the county, but no one was willing to go up against a sitting judge. The husband got nothing. No visitation. Pays alimony and child support. Never sees his kids, who have been alienated by their mother and don’t want to see him anymore."


    And finally...

    13. "Not a lawyer, but when my parents got divorced, my father suggested a Parent Trap–like arrangement, where he would get full custody of my brother and my mom would get custody of me because 'it's only fair that each parent gets to keep one child; it's 50-50.' He actually sent that to her over text, and we still have the screenshots. Mom only sent back, 'Are you delusional?'"


    You can read the full thread of responses on Reddit.

    Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.

    If you are concerned that a child is experiencing or may be in danger of abuse, you can call or text the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-2253 (4.A.CHILD); service can be provided in over 140 languages.