17 Types Of Moviegoers Who Need To Be Called Out
I didn't pay $15 to listen to your director's commentary, thank you very much!
1. The line cutter.
You can usually spot this person a mile away. They're always casually waiting around the lobby, near your long line — that you've been patiently waiting in — and as soon as the usher lets the line in, they just walk right on in with the crowd.
2. The person reserving an entire row of seats for their friends.
This person must be a ninja, somehow sneaking into the theater before everyone else and reserving the best seats for their 15 friends who are yet to show up — three minutes before the movie starts.
3. The parents who bring a baby or a child to a non-kid-friendly movie.
Somehow this person/couple missed the memo that bringing your crying kid to a 10:15 p.m. showing of an R-rated film is not cool. They also seem to have some sort of built-in mechanism that makes them blissfuly unaware of the shade and side-eye being thrown at them.
4. The extremely loud chewer.
Seriously, how is this person capable of being louder than the action scene?! Are they chewing popcorn or lighting firecrackers?
5. The comedian.
This person might make a funny comment before the movie starts, usually during the trailers, and get a few chuckles. But then they proceed to tell the same joke over and over, until they are shushed by the first person who gets tired of their bullshit.
6. The person who brings outside food into the theater.
Naturally they always seem to bring the most stinky-ass food.
7. The person who won't stop texting.
Why would you pay $15 to not pay attention to the film? Also, this person seems to not realize that the blinding light coming out of their phone is distracting.
8. The person who, for some strange reason, laughs at inappropriate moments.
Yup, the opening sequence of Up is hilarious.
9. The person who brings the laser pointer.
Let's be honest, this person is usually a middle schooler who thinks this is just so funny and original.
10. The overreactor.
With all the loud crying, screaming, and laughing, you're left wondering if this person has ever seen a movie before. Like are they experiencing this for the first time?!
11. The person who talks back to the screen.
This self-unaware person is neither funny nor insightful, and somehow also manages to be louder than a jet engine.
12. The couple that won't stop fighting throughout the entire movie.
I don't know why two people who are fighting would want to sit next to each other in a confined space for two hours. But what I do know is that the only drama I want to see is on the screen.
13. The loud whisperer.
Yeah, this person thinks they're having an inaudible conversation, but really it's so loud that even people at the concession stand can hear it.
14. The couple who come just to make out.
Let's be honest, sometimes these people become the show with their over-the-top PDA. And to them I say, "Yes, we know you're giving a hand job. You are not fooling anyone with that sweater draped across your laps."
15. The movie critic.
Really, nobody needs to hear this person's opinion on Dumb and Dumber To. We're all pretty much aware this is not going to be a Criterion Collection film.
16. The person who needs the whole movie explained to them by their friend or loved one.
This person is usually never paying attention because they keep asking for plot explanations. And when they do realize what's going on, they make sure the entire theater knows by letting out a loud, "Oh, now I see what's going on!"
17. The person who constantly needs to go to the bathroom.
And naturally they always sit in the middle seat, in your row.
Of course this list is made up of other moviegoers and NOT us.
