2. It’s totally cool to take a controlled substance that gives you crazy energy and causes you to, literally, bounce off the walls.
Clearly the Gummiberry Juice that the Gummi Bears made was some sort of crazy meth — which might explain why Duke Igthorn really wanted it.
4. No one ever gets hurt in gun battles.
For as many battles as the G.I. Joe Team got in with Cobra Command, no one ever seemed to get wounded. Maybe the fact that they were such bad marksmen was the reason they could never take down Cobra?
7. If a crime happens, you should help solve it.
The Rescue Rangers were always snooping in on the police and taking on cases that probably should’ve been handled by actual law enforcement — or at least professional rodent law enforcement.
9. You should love money more than anything else.
Sure, Scrooge McDuck had a rather large extended family, he was even raising his three grandnephews, Huey, Dewey, and Louie. But what he seemed to care for the most was his vast fortune and his Number One Dime.
11. It’s normal for a creepy adult to hang out with a teenage girl.
A creepy poltergeist adult to be exact. Let’s be honest, Beetlejuice and Lydia’s relationship was clearly a (paranormal) episode of To Catch a Predator waiting to happen.
Also, why weren’t Lydia’s parents just a little more concerned with the fact that she was very obsessed with the occult?
12. Being a super-rich teenager gives you permission to be ruthless and mistreat those who are not as well off as you.
Beverly Hills Teens was perfectly suited for the ’80s, the decade of excess. The show featured rich spoiled teenagers that in between attending high school, spent all their time living a Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous wet dream. Of course the show’s true star was Bianca Dupree, who was the series’ resident villain who used her money to scheme against her friends and be cruel to her chauffeur Wilshire.
13. It’s fine to keep secrets from adults.
Yeah having a dinosaur friend like Denver would be cool, but having it possibly kill one of your friends, not so cool.
But, you know, don’t let your parents know ‘cause they might take your dangerous friend away.
14. You should strive to be irresponsible and constantly stoned.
Those Fraggles were high-as-fuck 24/7, and they did nothing but lay around, have the munchies, and share in each others trippy dreams.
On second thought, those hippie Fraggles were onto something.
- It's time: Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump will face off tonight at 9 p.m. ET in the first of three US presidential debates.
- Dozens of children were killed after the Syrian government launched a major offensive in Aleppo over the weekend.
- Ted Cruz said Trump's list of potential Supreme Court nominees spurred his decision to endorse his former opponent.