11 Hilarious Stories Of How People Quit Their Jobs
Sometimes you got to go out in style!
1. This person who just couldn't hold it in:
My boss wouldn't let me go to the bathroom to throw up, so I puked on her, told her I quit, puked next to her, then left.
2. This person who let their boss eat cake:
The general manager I worked for was very micromanaging and unprofessional. I stayed with the company for two years because I thought I would be able to grow in that company, professionally. The assistant manager position was dangled in front of me like a carrot for two years, but I never got a promotion. I copied a sympathy card, saying something like "I'm sorry for your loss, etc..." wrote it down in sort of calligraphy style, and had it printed on a cake, as my two weeks notice.
3. This person who knows how to pick an exit song:
I quit my last job properly and gave a two weeks notice, but, on my last day, I played Big Sean "I Don't Fuck With You" really loudly as I was walking out.
4. This person who pulled a Venti-sized prank:
I worked at a Starbucks inside a Target. After three years of being denied any sort of promotion, I got a new job and I put in my two weeks. After I put in my two weeks, my manager used those weeks to torture me with disgusting cleaning jobs. On my second to last shift, I decided I was done. I took all the timers (about 10 of them) and set them to go off the next day in five-minute intervals and proceeded to hide them in different spots. The best part was after a minute the timers stop going off, so the person working had only one minute to find them. Found out from a former coworker it took them almost two weeks to find all the timers. I also found out my manager was fired after I left and it was discovered I had been doing 90% of her job.
5. This person who knows when to use a good meme:
6. This person who came for their boss's brows:
I was at my job for seven years and for five of those years my district manager seemed to have it out for me. Whenever my bosses would ask if I could be promoted to assistant manager she would always tell them no and not give a good excuse (even though I was more than qualified). She liked to tweeze her eyebrows into thin lines and draw them back on with solid black eyeliner and silver eyeshadow as highlighter — it was so tacky. When I quit I wrote her a strongly worded letter with a picture of Walter White from Breaking Bad saying, "Fuck you and your eyebrows!" My boss said the next time they saw her she had drawn her brows on differently.
7. This person who took something to go while leaving:
It wasn't me, but a friend of mine literally pulled a move out of Half Baked. She worked at a Church's Chicken and (in this order) told her coworkers, "fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, and fuck you". She then proceeded to steal a tray of fried chicken when walking out and yelled to everybody, "I'm out."
8. This person who put their boss on full blast in front of customers:
I put my two weeks in. My boss came in and started being a dick and making sexist comments toward me. In front of all of our customers I told him his behavior was why he was on his second divorce and that he could finish my shift, and I left right there. My regulars loved me for it and some even said I could work for them. It was pretty sweet.
9. This person who left a surprise booby trap:
You know those stuffed animals that "sing and dance" when you squeeze their hand? Well, on my last day I took the singing and dancing mechanism out of one and rigged my locker with it (I also locked my locker with my own padlock). I set it up so that every time my coworker shut his locker the whole locker wall would play annoying music and vibrate. From what I hear the manager had to get bolt cutters to undo my prank.
10. This person who set up a devious cheesecake trap:
I had a boss who ate everybody's lunch out of the fridge. When I quit, I brought in a beautiful cheesecake, professionally sliced. Took out one slice, brought it to his boss, expressed my gratitude for the opportunities that I had there, and that I was leaving. I said that out of appreciation, I was giving her (the big boss) a full cheesecake, and just brought in a slice so she could enjoy it, the rest was in the employee fridge, waiting for her to take home. Long story short, she caught my boss eating HER cheesecake. I doubt that he ever stole lunch again.