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8 People To Avoid At Holiday Parties

'Tis the season for office, neighborhood and family parties and with that comes aplenty of awkward situations. Here is a list to help you identify and avoid those people that will kill your party vibe.

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1. The Drunk Aunt/Uncle

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How to spot one: an always full glass of alcohol, slurred speech, violent hand gestures, racism

The drunk aunt/uncle will corner you, invade your personal space and subject you to rants about the declining moral fabric of America, i.e. same-sex marriage, Obama, gluten-free cookies. These rants don't make sense, logically or audibly, and before you know it you'll be hearing predictions of the apocalypse.

How to avoid one: Say things like “sex positive,” “farmer's market,” “Miley Cyrus” and they will certainly avoid you.

2. The Sticky Kid

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How to spot one: loud screams, sticky handprints

With a cornucopia of candy and sweet baked goods and parents too busy sipping on nog to care, kids have unchecked access to sugar during the holidays. With that comes high energy stickiness followed by whiny, sick stickiness. It's best to avoid both.

How to avoid one: Stay away from candy. Practice safe sex.

3. The Lonely Heart(s)

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How to spot one: puppy dog eyes, lurking in doorways, talk of recent heartbreak

This party goer has suffered a recent break-up or rejection and is feeling it harder than ever during the holiday season. You'll find him/her lingering under the mistletoe, giving eyes to anyone who walks by. And when the clock strikes 12 on New Years Day, this one will be planting kisses on anyone within reach.

How to avoid one: Be in a couple or pretend to be in one, otherwise you risk a sloppy kiss.

4. The Historian

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How to spot one: sweater vests, festive bow ties or broaches, puns

This one knows all the “fun facts” you could ever want about all winter holidays from around the world. They will lure you in with one and if you show interest, before you know it you'll be suffering through a hour long lecture on the history of Christmas or Kwanza or some obscure pagan holiday.

How to avoid one: When told the first fun fact, say you hate fun facts and walk away. Just walk away.

5. The Surly Underclassmen

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How to spot one: shaggy haircut, wrinkled clothing, the faint smell of cigarette and/or weed smoke

Fresh off their illuminating studies, the home for the holidays underclassman is sure to check your privilege. Unless you want to spend your evening discussing the crass materialism of the holiday season and rolling your eyes, look elsewhere for party time camaraderie.

How to avoid one: It's pretty easy, don't talk to one. They surely won't talk to you because they are too bored and uninterested in you.

6. The Grinch

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How to spot one: a sour-puss, half-audible grumblings, all black clothing

This one will sidle up next to you at the food table and complain about all the sweets and their expanding waistline. Or you'll overhear him whining over the money he spent on travel and gifts and all that other holiday crap. And remember, grinchiness is contagious, so keep your distance.

How to avoid one: Introduce the grinch to the underclassmen, they'll bond over their distaste for the pomp and circumstance.

7. The Snob

How to spot one: nose in the air, condescending tone, constantly on their phone

This person for whatever reason couldn't spend the holidays with their usual kin so they have wound up at your celebration and they are making it clear that they prefer their own. Nearly every sentence starts with, “Well my family,” or “Our tradition.” Their food is better, their games are better, everything is just the best where they come from.

How to avoid one: Beat them at their own game. Talk about how everything happening at the current party is just the best and anyone who disagrees can leave. They'll get the hint.

8. Mr./Ms. Cheer

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How to spot one: light-up sweater, Christmas songs, plates of treats

This is the person circulating through the party shoving their grandmother's cookies down your throat. This is also the person that suggests everyone gather round the piano for a round of christmas caroling. While most people feel joy during the holidays, this person overdoses on it and veers into a state of mania.

How to avoid one: Not gonna happen. It is their mission to spread cheer, and spread it to all they will. Just grit your teeth, smile and accept the cookie.

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