22 Ways The University Of Oregon’s New Building Will Blow Your Mind

The Duck football team might just be the most spoiled team in all of college sports

1. It looks like you could get hurt if you tried to walk in without clearance.

The University of Oregon’s new Football Performance Center looks like a black fortress of death.

2. The university took up some space to thank the players who helped build the program into what it is today.

But we all know there’s only one person to thank: Uncle Phil

3. This is what you see when you walk in.

This is the lobby. You are looking at 64 55-inch televisions. They can all be programmed to show one image or 64 different things. Mind. Blown.

4. Of course, the team had to showcase its famous closet — the only way UO could:

There is a shrine devoted to UO’s much-hyped spectrum of uniforms .

5. Every school has a trophy room, but does your university have a room “with LED lighting and 3D sound enhancing the presentation” of its bowl and championship rings?

Yeah. Didn’t think so.

6. Looks like a normal(-ish) dining room …

Except it is full of big-screen TVs and has “sliding glass doors and curtains can be used” to create smaller dining areas.

7. UO football players eat their enemies …

And the other food groups. Um, what?

8. This is the locker room.

9. Seriously. This is a COLLEGE locker room.

10. There is a swanky barber shop for the players and coaches.

Because, you know, who would actually want to have to leave this place?

11. The coaches’ locker room includes TVs in mirrors! But if they tire of that space-age technology …

12. There’s always the hydrotherapy pool. They’ll probably need it after …

13. A stint in the media room, where they’re sure to field a few questions about their new digs.

14. A 120-inch projection screen helps players and coaches keep a very close eye on the competition.

Because 90-inches just didn’t cut it.

15. Then there’s the two-story theater …

16. Which is one of TWO in the building

Seriously. All those other huge screens don’t count.

17. Head Coach Mark Helfrich gets the best view, “but with the touch of a button shades will darken the room for the sake of film review.”

Oh, yeah, and those two screens drop down out of the ceiling. Remind me why Chip Kelly left again.

18. There is a “war room,” which might actually be scarier than a real war room.

It’s huge, it’s dark, it has six 80-inch TVs “and, like much of the rest of the facility, black magnetic walls that are also writable/erasable.”

19. This building is so massive, there’s a skybridge. And those ducks? They represent “Oregon’s NFL draftees.”

20. Because the locker room, dining room and cafeteria aren’t cool enough, the players’ lounge features “two banks of four 55-inch TV screens” and “six gaming stations.”

Why leave? Ever?

21. This is the weight room. That green stripe in the upper left? That’s “a 40-yard electronic track lane.”

22. In case you wondered, those are “custom-made squat racks,” the floor is made of Brazilian hardwood and the players can look out over the new practice field.

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