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    "Spongebob Squarepants" As Told From Squidward's Perspective

    A exploration of incredible patience.

    Squidward Tentacles is an octopus who lives in the lovely, almost perfect community of Bikini Bottom.

    He spends his days working at the Krusty Krab, a burger joint just down the road.

    Sure, the job isn't a dream - but it's flexible and allows him time to practice his other loves: clarinet, painting, and relaxing in the bath.

    All seems well for Squidward. That is, until, a new neighbour moves in next door...

    This is Spongebob Squarepants. Spongebob is a borderline insane (adult?) who creates hell from the moment he arrives into Squidward's life.

    Spongebob has no concept of personal space. He regularly breaks the law in a bizarre and ridiculous pervasion into Squidward's personal life.

    Squidward is left to constantly monitor Spongebob's location - putting up defences against his persistent attempts of annoyance.

    To make matters worse, Spongebob becomes "best friends" with Squidward's other neighbour - Patrick Star, a starfish that lives under a large boulder.

    Things become... troublesome...

    Squidward's only respite from the torture of Squarepants' constant presence is at his workplace. But his happiness has no doubt become affected.

    And then, one day... Spongebob gets a job at the Krusty Krab.

    Spongebob DOES NOT leave Squidward alone. Now, there is nowhere he can hide. His life, slowly but surely, spins into insanity.

    Squidward's love for life, however minor it may have been before, evaporates.

    Squidward becomes deterrent of love...

    And spends many of his days removing graffiti from the front of the Krabby Patty.

    In an effort to cope, Squidward turns to aesthetic enhancement surgery. It does not have its desired effect.

    He joins a local "non-religious" group (read: cult) that promises to free Squidward of the scourge of Spongebob.

    This also does not work.

    Spongebob is completely intolerant of Squidward's hobbies.

    And while Squidward may sneer, he is still, ultimately, patient with Spongebob's lifestyle.

    His skin decays under the stress of dealing with Spongebob.

    And his life descends into that of someone living only to try and temper the crescendo of Spongebob's life.

    He treads the line between sanity and insanity, marrying a Krabby Patty and fostering Hamburger/Octopus younglings.

    But nothing he tries, works.

    He builds a hatred of all those around him - not just Spongebob.

    His life becomes monotonous, with every activity unable to distract him from the impending arrival of Squarepants.

    Squidward's life has changed forever. And it's documented for the world to see.

    And such is the tale of Squidward Tentacles. An octopus so concerned with the emotions of others that he sacrifices his own in the process.