Outback Steakhouse As Explained By A Real Australian
Actually a really offensive place, FYI.
It's time to talk about something that many [true] Australians have been unaware of for quite some time. Outback Steakhouse.
Outback Steakhouse holds a reputation for being 'outback' and 'Australian' when in reality very few of these things hold true.
The crown jewel of Outback Steakhouse seems to be this: The "bloomin' onion."
Outback Steakhouse has two locations in Australia. Neither of them are in the 'outback.' So really it should just be called 'Steakhouse.'
Who does Outback Steakhouse sponsor? A cricket team? Rugby? Hell, golf?! NOPE. It sponsors NASCAR driver Kevin Harvick. Because nothing is more Australian than NASCAR.
Outback Steakhouse promises a bunch of things us Aussies have NEVER EXPERIENCED. LIKE STEAK. Y'KNOW. DEAD COW.
Outback Steakhouse also offers "Alice Springs Chicken Quesadillas."
And perhaps the most cringeworthy thing of all time:
What's that you say? At least they're culturally sensitive? GOOD POINT, MATE.
See this? This is a witchetty grub. This is the real deal. This is "outback."
All power to Outback Steakhouse for creating a business that is [probably?] successful. I have eaten there. A lot of the food is delicious. But this shit's gotta stop:
Also what does this mean? Like. What.
And for the record:
An earlier version of this post incorrectly identified Ryan Newman as the Outback Steakhouse sponsored NASCAR driver.