18 Reasons Matt Preston Should Be Every Australian’s God

“Our Matt Preston, who art in culinary heaven, hallowed be thy name.”

1. This is resident boss-dog and fine dining connoisseur Matt Preston (on the right) and some bald groupie in a Tarocash shirt (left).

2. Most people know Matt from his time on Masterchef Australia, but there’s so much more to the man than that.

“Guuuuurrrllllll you have no idea.”

3. Essentially, Matty P is the living, breathing example of all that is right in the world.

4. We’re talkin’ about a guy who owns over 100 fucking cravats.

I literally don’t own 100 of anything. And I’m not saying that in that irritating teenage girl “OMG literally!” way where it has no substance. I mean it. Literally.

5. While the rest of the Masterchef judges joke about the size of a cucumber like fucking four-year-olds, Matt looks down at them like the peasants they are.

For real. Look at Gary’s face. WTF are you doing Gary??

6. Presto is a legit heart breaker. He gives zero fucks about your heart. Especially when it comes to pastry.

7. All anyone can ever do when confronted by Matt is lust over his presticles.

8. Look at this specimen.

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9. Matt Preston has many looks (most incorporating cravats) and they’ve done him a world of good.

I got this photo from the prestigious www.fuckyeahhotaussies.tumblr.com/ It takes a damn LOT to get on that blog and Presto has probably been on it, like, five times.

10. He legit has so many looks you can’t even keep up.

Channel Ten / Via r-aspberrycrush.tumblr.com

There’s that bald groupie again.

11. The comparisons are downright endless.

Surprised Matty P isn’t suing The CW for their bullshit “adaptation” of his look. Chuck Bass is the poor man’s Matt Preston and don’t tell us otherwise.

Practically everyone wants to hang out with Matt Preston.

12. Here he is at Mary Poppins, blending in like a fucking chameleon.

13. Popular restaurant Nando’s actually worships Matty P as a God (so should we all.)

14. Matt appreciates everything in life, especially food. Everyone else around him appreciates him appreciating stuff.

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15. Preston literally cries for everyone else because he knows they’ll never be up to his standard.

Again, use of literal is literal.

16. So he gives the people what they want.

Channel Ten / Via zoebells.tumblr.com

Look at the woman far right. So much thirst it’s not even funny.

17. He plays tricks on people because sometimes being a boss-dog 24/7 gets tiresome.

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“hahah Matt you’re so funny I love you.”

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18. And he’s been kind enough to give us the opportunity to buy a lifesize cutout for ONLY $69.90.

Get in quick I’ve already bought 10.

So, if you haven’t already, get on your hands and knees. Matty P is your God now.

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Brad Esposito is a news reporter for BuzzFeed and is based in Sydney, Australia.
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