SIT DOWN AND STRAP IN, WE'RE ABOUT TO GO THROUGH SOME REAL LIFE TRUTHS.
WE'RE GOING DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE!
1. The world is a sick and dangerous place, full of lies and false-truths.
2. For TOO LONG society has been expected to sit humbly as the lies are washed over them.
3. WELL NOT ANYMORE!!!
4. THIS MAN IS NOT 17. HIS NAME MIGHT NOT EVEN BE "AVI."
5. THIS IS ACTUALLY A DOOR. I KNOW. IT'S LABELLED OTHERWISE. TRUST ME. IT'S A DOOR.
6. THIS IS LABELLED "NON-STICK" BUT YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PICTURE A PLUNGER STICKING TO IT. DO YOU SEE IT? LOOK CLOSELY.
7. ONE OF THESE SQUIRRELS IS ACTUALLY A *HUMAN BEING* WEARING A SQUIRREL MASK. I KID YOU NOT.
8. THERE ARE PRETZELS IN THIS PRETZEL HOLDER.
9. AND THERE IS MOST DEFINITELY SOMETHING WRITTEN IN THIS STONE.
10. This movie poster??? LIES!
11. Vitamins???? LIES!!
12. Every Discman from your childhood? ONE GIANT UNIVERSAL LIE!!!
13. THIS NEEDS TO STOP.
14. HOW MUCH LONGER CAN WE SIT AROUND, PRETENDING EVERYTHING IS OKAY?
15. !!!!!!!!!THIS DOESN'T LOOK FUN AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!
16. AND THESE SPOONS? THESE GREAT VALUE SPOONS? THEY'RE ACTUALLY FORKS! FORKS! EVERYONE KNOWS FORKS ARE JUST SPOON'S DIFFICULT COUSIN WHO HANGS OUT IN DIVE BARS AND STARTED SMOKING WHEN HE WAS 12! THAT'S A FACT. A FACT!
17. NONE OF THIS IS TRUE.
18. NONE OF IT!
19. WAKE UP WORLD. OPEN YOUR EYES. SEE THE TRUTH BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
