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Please Watch This Journalist Scream At A Man About His Nipple

"MARTIN HOW'S THE NIPPLE TODAY??!?!?!?"

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Please dear god watch this video. I'll explain later.

The single greatest piece of journalism ever.

So basically there's this dude, Grant Hackett (left). Once upon a time he was a total boss Olympic swimmer, winning gold medals for Australia alongside Ian Thorpe.

Hackett has held world records in practically every race, from the 200 metres to the 1,500 metres, in which he was undefeated from 1996 until 2007.
Hamish Blair / Getty Images

Hackett has held world records in practically every race, from the 200 metres to the 1,500 metres, in which he was undefeated from 1996 until 2007.

Anway, Hackett retired in 2008. Everyone thought that was it. But then in 2015, out of nowhere, seven years after retiring, Hackett announces he's coming back, baby!

He swam 4th in a 200 metres race and made the world titles team for 2015. It was magical.
Ryan Pierse / Getty Images

He swam 4th in a 200 metres race and made the world titles team for 2015. It was magical.

Flash forward to a week ago and Hackett is trying to get into the Australian Olympic team. It's tense. If Hackett does qualify, he'll be the oldest swimmer to make an Australian Olympic team. But then he doesn't make it :(

“It’s funny,” he said. “I don’t feel sad. I always feel disappointed when I don’t get a good result but I don’t feel bad about what I’ve done and what I’ve achieved in coming back into the sport."It was all pretty heavy. Hackett said he was disappointed but, y'know, the show must go on.
Quinn Rooney / Getty Images

“It’s funny,” he said. “I don’t feel sad. I always feel disappointed when I don’t get a good result but I don’t feel bad about what I’ve done and what I’ve achieved in coming back into the sport."

It was all pretty heavy. Hackett said he was disappointed but, y'know, the show must go on.

So then we're at this past weekend. Hackett's on a Virgin Australia flight to the Gold Coast when a scuffle breaks out involving him and a fellow passenger.

Grant Hackett detained by police in Melbourne following an altercation on a flight. https://t.co/E7xibbb4mN https://t.co/mteijRXeLa

Hackett reportedly tried to stop a passenger from putting his seat back, with some saying he verbally abused the man.

It all culminated in Hackett allegedly giving the man an intense nipple cripple.

Hackett was questioned by police and photographed slumped over in a wheelchair as Virgin staff delivered him to an awaiting police van once the plane landed on the Gold Coast.

"The AFP can confirm it was requested to attend an arrival gate at Melbourne airport earlier today," said a police statement released on Sunday.

"A 35-year-old man was spoken to, however at this time no charges have been laid. Enquiries in relation to this matter are continuing."
Michael Kappeler / AFP / Getty Images

"A 35-year-old man was spoken to, however at this time no charges have been laid. Enquiries in relation to this matter are continuing."

Hackett apologised for the whole incident. He said he was embarrassed and that it wouldn't happen again.

"I seriously and genuinely regret my poor behaviour," he said. "I have stuffed up more than once and am working on these issues.

"It is embarrassing to hear and read the consequences of my actions. I apologise unreservedly to the gentleman on the flight.

"I am trying to make direct contact with him personally."

Which leads us back to this:

The single greatest piece of journalism ever.

A 9 News journalist can be seen running towards a man, believed to be the victim of Hackett's alleged nipple cripple, screaming about the health of said man's nipple.

Channel 9

And that's how we got this video. Here, watch it again.

The single greatest piece of journalism ever.

And again, if you really want.

The single greatest piece of journalism ever.