How Much Do You Hate Kids?

Too old to be cute, too young to be cool.

  1. Flickr: botogol / Creative Commons
    1. Diapers.
    2. Dirty diapers.
    3. When a child walks in front of you, slowly.
    4. When a child walks besides you.
    5. When a child will not stop asking you “why?”
    6. When a child cries in public.
    7. When a child cries in private.
    8. When a child cries on a plane.
    9. When a child is on a leash.
    10. When a child invades your personal space.
    11. When a child coughs and doesn’t cover its mouth.
    12. When a child sneezes and doesn’t cover its nose.
    13. When a child picks its nose.
    14. When you see a child being loved.
    15. When a child laughs.
    16. When a child smiles.
    17. When a child does that thing where they fall over, act fine, see you’re concerned and THEN begin crying.
    18. When a child sings.
    19. When a child screams.
    20. When children yell for no reason.
    21. When a child sits next to you on the bus.
    22. When a child kicks your chair.
    23. When a child ruins the peace and quiet.
    24. When a mother walks past you with a flock of children.
    25. Children’s birthday parties.
    26. When a child says “I’m sorry” and you know they don’t mean it.
    27. More than one child in a room at once.
    28. When people bring their children into work.
    29. Children on bikes.
    30. Children running.
    31. Children on scooters.
    32. Children with Heelies.
    33. When a child eats.
    34. When a child drinks.
    35. When a child skips.
    36. When a child throws a tantrum.
    37. When a child throws a tantrum in public.
    38. When a child talks to you in baby talk and you’re just expected to understand them.
    39. When a child refuses to fall asleep.
    40. When a child thinks they can do something better than you.
    41. When a child draws a picture.
    42. When a child draws a picture of you.
    43. When a child says “I hate you!”
    44. When a child is in the same room as you.
    45. When a child is in a movie.
    46. When a child is in a movie theatre.
    47. When people bring their children to a restaurant.
    48. When there’s children staying in the same hotel as you.
    49. When someone shows you photos of their child and they expect you to think it is cute.
    50. When every second photo on your Facebook feed is a child.
    51. When a child bumps into you.
    52. When a child calls you names.

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