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If "Harry Potter" Were Told Through "Friends" Episodes

The One Where They Figure Out the Exact Function of a Rubber Duck.

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1. The One With the Boggart

2. The One Where Hermione Needed to Sort Out Her Priorities

3. The One Where Oliver Wood Made Everything Subtly Sexual

4. The One Where Bellatrix Was So Damn Thirsty for Voldemort

5. The One Where Seamus Blew Something Up

6. The One With the World Champion Quidditch Player

7. The One Where McGonagall Was a Boss Bitch

8. The One When Harry Was an Angsty Teenager

9. The One Where No One Followed Any School Rules

10. The One Where Harry Was a Sassy Bitch

11. The One Where Filch's Cat Dies

12. The One Where Filch Tries to Reintroduce Capitol Punishment

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13. The One Where Dumbledore Could Have Saved Everyone a Lot of Time

14. The One Where Gryffindor Gets 500 House Points for No Reason, Really

15. The One Where Umbridge Was Almost Worse Than Voldemort

16. The One With the Sorting Hat

17. The One With Dumbledore's Brother and a Goat

18. The One With the Dementor

19. The One Where Everyone Gets Loaded on Butterbeer

20. The One Where Snape Showed Extreme Favouritism

21. The One Where Hermione Turns Into a Cat

22. The One Where Fred and George Did the Perfect Prank

23. The One Where They Got Lost in Knockturn Alley

24. The One That Draco's Father Heard About

25. The One Where The Dursleys Go to the Zoo

26. The One Where There Are Far More Important Things Than Books and Cleverness

27. The One Where Hermione Saved Everyone's Arse

28. The One Where Hermione Saved Everyone's Arses (Again)

29. The One Where Dudley Became Wider Than He Was Tall

30. The One Where Sirius Made Bad Life Choices

31. The One With the Triwizard Tournament

32. The One Where Every Hogwarts Student Got Obese From All the Feasts

33. The One Where Gilderoy Got His Hair Done

34. The One Where Peeves Steals Neville's Books

35. The One Where They All Met Aragog

36. The One Where Ron Ate a Vomit-Flavoured Bertie Bott

37. The One Where Neville Turned Out to Be Cool

38. The One Where Hermione Was 100% Done With Everyone's Crap

39. The One When They Stole a Flying Car

40. The One When Ron Got a Howler

41. The One When Petunia Was a Jealous Bitch

42. The One When Ron Became Roonil Wazlib

43. The One Where Ron Had the Emotional Range of a Teaspoon

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44. The One Where They Solemnly Swore They Were Up to No Good

45. The One Where They All Took Liquid Luck

46. The One Where Rita Skeeter Ruined Everything

47. The One With Draco, the Amazing Bouncing Ferret

48. The One Where Snape Saved the Day

49. The One Where Harry Was Dumbledore's Man Through and Through

50. The One Where Fudge Made a Complete Idiot of Himself

51. The One With the Time-Turner

52. The One With the Exact Purpose of a Rubber Duck

53. The One Where Cho Cried Because Harry Kissed Her

54. The One Where They Found the Room of Requirement

55. The One With the Regurgitating Toilet in Bethnal Green

56. The One With the Vanishing Cabinet

57. The One Where Harry Reminds Everyone He's an Orphan

58. The One Where Harry Got a Coathanger for Christmas

59. The One Where Dobby Died

60. The One Where They Raised Harry Like a Pig for Slaughter

61. The One Where Snape Killed Dumbledore

62. The One With the Grim

63. The One Where Hermione Slapped Malfoy Right in the Face

64. The One Where Harry Discovers the Prefect's Bathroom

65. The One With the Band That Needs No Introduction

66. The One With the Jinxed Broomstick

67. The One Where Trelawney Made a Real Prediction

68. The One With the Swallowed Snitch

69. The One Where Dobby Gets a Sock

70. The One With the Moving Staircases

71. The One Where Harry Couldn't Even Go Into a Bookstore Without Making the Front Page

72. The One With Hagrid's Dad

73. The One With the Other Minister

74. The One Where Ron Just Got Long Hair All of a Sudden and Went Through Puberty in, Like, Two Years

75. The One With the One-Sided Media Coverage

76. The One With Rita Skeeter

77. The One With the Quick Quotes Quill

78. The One Where the Weasley Twins Bounced Snowballs Off Voldemort's Face

79. The One With the Dark Mark

80. The One With U-NO-POO

81. The One When Mad-Eye Moody Did Mean Things to a Spider

82. The One With Babbity Rabbity

83. The One Where All Was Well