Ever since Donald Trump decided to step into politics he's been talking about this big, beautiful wall he's gonna build between Mexico and the US.
Throughout his presidential campaign Trump talked about the wall he would build between Mexico and the US. Mexico would, apparently, be happy to pay for it. That hasn't gone so well – but since he became president, Trump has continued to mention how much he wants to drain the swamp, yada yada, and finally... Build. That. Wall.
Trump has said he wants a 1,000 mile long wall. Senator Lindsey Graham talked about a 2,200 mile wall (and how it's not going to happen) on Wednesday. But the actual length of the border between Mexico and the US is around 1,988 miles. That's about 3,200 kilometres. So let's imagine Trump's America decides to go all out, full hog, and build a big, beautiful, yuge wall the entire length of the border. That's 1,988 strong miles of (presumably) top grade concrete.
Some would probably like it if we started simple. We wouldn't even have to use half of our certified Trump Wall to finally create a permanent barrier between NSW and Queensland.
Or, if we really wanted, we could knock up a Trump Wall around all of the landlocked parts of Queensland.
Victorians would probably get grumpy that they're not getting any Trump Wall, and who could blame them? Imagine them all, sitting at home, practicing the cool new graffiti concepts they could try out on 3,200kms of Trump brand concrete. Luckily for them, we could surround the whole state – and still have just under 1,000 kms left!
We could use up all of our 3,200 kilometres of glorious wall to try and wrap it around the very real, very endangered Great Barrier Reef.
Or we could use 700 or so extra kilometres and build a YUGE, glorious ocean Trump Wall between Tasmania and New Caledonia. It wouldn't stop New Zealanders from reaching us entirely (there's still the little issue of air travel) but it would certainly make life more difficult for cruise ships.
We could use under 400 kilometres of Trump Wall and put a road on top of it, finally physically linking Tasmania to the rest of Oz.
Or (and this is totally up to Tasmanians) we could circle just about their entire state for as little as 1147 kilometres of 100% American* made Trump Wall.
If the Australian government wanted a wall around all of Christmas Island they'd only need 68 kilometres of Trump Wall. If it ~really~ wanted, the government could build a Trump Wall maze, lapping around Christmas Island roughly 47 times.
The Australian government could stop any pesky journalists from getting into Manus Island Detention Centre by building a gigantic concrete Trump Wall around it, replacing any fencing. We can't have journalists going to the detention centre. For... reasons.
Or the government could try its best to Stop The Boats with a Trump Wall. If we build it before the US, they might give us a discount.
Currently the American congress is refusing to fund its own Trump Wall. On Tuesday Trump asked for a few billion dollars to begin construction on the wall, but Republicans said they wouldn't stump up the cash.
In January Trump signed an executive order for the wall – so it's probably only a matter of time.
Brad Esposito is a news reporter for BuzzFeed and is based in Sydney, Australia.
Contact Brad Esposito at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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