An Australian Guesses What Thanksgiving Is

    Turkey and alcohol, I guess?

    In Australia, we do not have Thanksgiving. We are a culture that despises the idea of thanking anyone.

    At least, that must be the only reason why we don't sit around celebrating it.

    Below, I have spliced together the fragments that make up Thanksgiving, and the methods by which everyone enjoys themselves.

    I am sorry in advance.

    First thing's first: Turkey.

    "Autumn" colours. Also, pumpkins.

    Mashed potatoes.


    People "say thanks" for things.

    Jazz music. (muzak)

    Ultimately, all of these parts come together - in a delicious recipe - to form the ultimate part of Thanksgiving...


    A mostly disingenuous, disinterested, family meal!

    And that's Thanksgiving. That's it.