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Stupid Things My Friend Nick Wrote On His First Tumblr Post

Everyone's done it. And now we've found it. Nicholas Wray's first blog - perhaps the most embarrassing 'about me' in history.

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Your "Name."

Via everybodyhatesnick.tumblr.com

Seriously Nick. NO ONE CARES. And no one ever has that many names - half of that is just made up. Show me your birth certificate you cheeky fuck.

Your "Nickname."

Via everybodyhatesnick.tumblr.com

Oh really Nick? Sting? That is pretty badass. Wait...What i meant to say is it WAS. Naming yourself after an amateur wrestler or the lead singer/yoga aficionado of The Police was cool in 1992. Before that...Not so sure.

Origin.

Via everybodyhatesnick.tumblr.com

Yeh good joke mate. Nothings funny about being conceived by your mother and father - it's just a fact. Like climate change, gravity and that you will never get a girlfriend. Also, did we really need to know the details of your sibling's age and demographic? "My older brother Tim." Thank God you said 'brother' Nick, here I was assuming Tim was your Aunt. On top of that you don't even give your parents names. Just "mum" and "dad." Shame on you.

"Thinking Back."

Via everybodyhatesnick.tumblr.com

Ah yes, "Kindergaten." Oh how I wish I could have grown up in your german-based Nazi fuelled pre-school. You can't afford spell-check Nick? Honestly, it comes with the computer. You also don't need to tell us "back in Kindergaten" when you've already said "thinking back." Your grammar is appalling, so I guess the whole "looked like a tad of retard" thing still holds firm.

Your "Carrer Path"

Via everybodyhatesnick.tumblr.com

Tell me Nick, what is a 'Carrer path?' And how do I get onto one? Please get back to me ASAP. Don't know how you made the top 10% of English with your grammar being so poor. I guess that says a lot about the education system in Dubbo (AUS).

Your huge crush on Tina Fey.

Via everybodyhatesnick.tumblr.com

Good news buddy, you're at least 21 now. Wait...is that why you haven't got a girlfriend? Saving yourself? Well at least you have dreams.

You are way too open.

Via everybodyhatesnick.tumblr.com

And your life reads like a bad "coming of age movie." But you're not the main character. You're the nerdy kid that dislocates his knee for the 4th time on the dance floor at your 18th Birthday Party. You are the Shermanator.

The things you hate.

Via everybodyhatesnick.tumblr.com

I also hate people that aren't 'theirself.' Nothing bugs me more.

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