15. Elmo’s Pelt
How Stylish: Stylish like instead of unleashing her grief and rage on Warren, Buffy, and Giles, she instead went down to 123 Sesame Street and skinned Elmo. Talk about bored now.
Perfect Occasion: Child’s birthday party.
14. Inedible Cotton Candy
How Stylish: Stylish like you really, really want to be a Polly Pocket, but you’re not because you’re a human, but dammit, you’re gonna try anyway.
Perfect For: Asserting your senior privileges, in high school or the nursing home.
13. Moldy Citrus Fruit
How Stylish: Stylish like you’re going to the library, but you think someone special might be there, so you think the best way to catch their eye is to put on this little ditty that reminds them of a produce section that hasn’t been checked out in awhile.
Perfect For: Defending an endangered species or a newly resurrected Chumash tribe.
How Stylish: Stylish like you’re about to give a really interesting presentation on the chopsticks you brought home from Mongolian Barbecue because you’re in second grade, and you want to impress.
Perfect For: Becoming a student teacher even though you’re only in eleventh grade.
11. “Crazy Birthday Cake”
How Stylish: Stylish like you handed a regular old, white jersey to a three-year-old on a sugar rush with paint supplies and said, “Here, kid. You decorate it. I trust you.”
Perfect For: Trying to win back your rockstar, lupine boyfriend from another rockstar lupine.
10. This purple, cable-knit number
How Stylish: Stylish like you go to Catholic school, but it’s picture day, fourth grade, and you’re really excited to show off your individual look. You chose the purple background for your photo, too.
Perfect For: Just your average, ordinary day at Sunnydale High. Maybe you have to give a presentation on Beowulf in AP Lit.
9. This cloth adaptation of one of those Popsicles with all the flavors
How Stylish: Stylish like you opened a geography book and saw all the flags with mixed colors and thought, “Hey! Why can’t my clothes look like that?” So you went to the store, and now they do. Take that, America.
Perfect For: Telling your BFF why you can’t support her in the race for homecoming queen or something else she wants to do that you don’t want her to.
8. This snoozer.
How Stylish: Stylish like you’ve just given up.
Perfect For: Making sure your werewolf boyfriend doesn’t escape from the inexplicable cage you have in your school’s library that was there even before his species furthered the plot.
7. This lilac stunner
How Stylish: Stylish like you’re tired of looking like a wild animal picked out your entire wardrobe, so you’ve chosen something fun yet modest to wow the crowds at your mostly dead high school.
Perfect For: Kissing a twelfth grader who has nice hands.
6. Happy Thanksgiving
How Stylish: Stylish like you’ve just landed a one-semester gig as a tenth grade biology teacher because the real teacher is out on maternity leave, and before Thanksgiving break, you want your classroom to look FUN.
Perfect For: Drinking a Coke in the cafeteria when you really wanted a Dr. Pepper.
5. Toto, I Don’t Think We’re in Sunnydale Anymore
How Stylish: Stylish like your mom wouldn’t let you get a dog because taking care of you was enough, so you pretend like the one on your sweater is a real dog. You even take it for walks.
Perfect For: Taking on the most challenging life science project of your life.
4. Look out, Rainbow Brite
How Stylish: Stylish like you’re really into the Muppets, but they were all out of Kermit t-shirts, so you settled on this homage to the Rainbow Connection.
Perfect For: Convincing your BFF she’s ready to date again just weeks after her last boyfriend turned into an evil, soulless monster as opposed to the brooding, soulful monster he was before.
How Stylish: Stylish like you’re making a reference with your shirt, and you’re really proud of its double entendre.
Perfect For: Visiting your fever-ridden BFF in the hospital and doing her homework for her just ‘cause.
2. Pinky Pie
How Stylish: Stylish like you’re really coming into your own as a woman, and you want to show that off.
Perfect For: Kissing your childhood best friend when both of you already have significant others, and also if you don’t cast a spell for a notorious vampire, you’ll both die.
1. Doppelgangland Magic
How Stylish: Stylish like this is the most iconic Willow Rosenberg sweater of all time, with its daisy-studded collar, ill-placed patches, and the LOVE square in the center. Extra points when Vampire Willow wears it and somehow looks better in it than the other Willow.
Perfect For: Traveling in between dystopian dimensions.
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