21 Reasons Spike From "Buffy" Might Not Be Worth It

No awful poets were staked in the making of this list. Some spoilers.

1. It's an iconic line, but it's not a nice term, man.

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2. Full of your vamp self, are you?

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3. Apathy is no way to be.

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4. Now is probably the best time to remind you that he's a bloodthirsty demon.

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5. He's kind of a real big, creepy stalker.

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6. SPIKE. PERSONAL SPACE.

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7. And for a very serious offense, he attempted to rape the woman he said he loves.

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8. But with the gloom and doom already?

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Well, you know, the second act of a musical is always sadder than the first.

9. Here's a douche move: Hire yourself out as a festival attraction. People will love it.

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OK, so, technically he was a figment of Giles' imagination here. Still doesn't seem out of character for Spike.

10. Once he was wired NOT to be a heinous killer, he actually wanted to get that side of him back.

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Yeah, because he was so bad when he was a man.

11. He's a horrible liar.

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Nothing more dangerous than an awkward poet.

12. THIS IS CREEPY.

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It's creepy because SHE NO LOVE YOU, BRO.

13. What a chicken.

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But if you're so big and bad, you take care of it, right?

14. Unwanted sexual advances are kind of his thing.

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I mean, you are hot, but that doesn't make up for the creep factor.

15. Eww.

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This isn't even the part where he smelled her underwear.

16. His fantasies involve a brush with death.

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No, Spike.

17. Yeah, that's true. But Spike is not a REAL MAN. He's a REAL DEMON.

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I don't even want to know how Spike loses his soul now that he's got one.

18. How dare you say this to Buffy like that?

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She looks like a delight, you jerk!

19. There's the death fetish thing again.

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*vom*

20. Yeah, Spike. Duh.

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Also, you just shouldn't.

21. And finally, he was a victim of the '70s.

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Slow clap for imperfection.