Kanye West sure knows how to keep the world entertained. Whether the rapper (and Mr. Kardashian) is stealing mics, comparing himself to Jesus, or simply speaking his mind—we can't decide if we love watching him more on the stage or off. Time and time again, we keep returning to his Twitter account, where he has let us into a world we didn't know we wanted access to until we were there.
The inside of Kanye's mind is a wacky place, but his humorous tweets continue to draw us in. Though he's deleted his account and started anew, wonderful Twitter users have been screenshotting his 140 character messages for posterity. And his rants got us thinking—he really could use some books! Enjoy the 16 wackiest, funniest, and most inspiring Kanye West tweets and the books he should read for each.
Us too, Kanye, us too. We already know from other Yeezy tweets that he asks people to type in Gothic or "Helvetic" when corresponding with him. To help him deal with his font-feels, we'd recommend Just My Type by Simon Garfield. Not only a great introduction to the history of typography, this book explores the decisions behind the typeface of Beatlemania and the Obama campaign, and dives deeper into Kanye's personal fave: Helvetica.
The Fountainhead author Ayn Rand famously advocated in her essay "Government Financing in a Free Society" the polarizing view that taxation should be voluntary. Sounds like Kanye would be on board with that.
Kanye, put the ketchup down. Sure, you may have been spooked by Fast Food Nation (Eric Schlosser's first shot fired in the war on French fries), but we recommend chilling out with Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love. YOLO, Kanye, get the most out of life. Eat the carbs! They are not your enemy!
Frederic Jameson, author of Postmodernism or, The Cultural Logic of Late Capitalism, would disagree with Kanye—he'd be more likely to assert that commercial art in the postmodern era is just pastiche: "blank parody, a statue with blind eyeballs." And watching Kanye refute a major tenet of postmodernism via tweet would be really, really fun.
Apologies go a long way (as do commas…), but we still think Kanye could benefit from How to Win Friends and Influence People. Maybe Beyoncé's music video was better, but no one likes the guy who acts like a sore loser and steals the mic from a young girl who just won an award. SMH.
If excess is something the "Louis Vuitton Don" (yes, that's an actual nickname) is interested in, he might consider picking up Jordan Belfort's memoir The Wolf of Wall Street. Belfort doesn't mention a marble conference table specifically, but we think the yacht, $700,000 hotel tab, and extravagant vacations are close enough.
Kanye is not alone in this! We also have quite a few questions about what the Illuminati are and whether or not they're a cult led by Jay-Z and Beyoncé ('cause if that's true, we so want in). In our ideal world, Kanye would join our book club and we could read The Illuminati: Facts and Fiction by Mark Dice to learn the truth.
Kanye, like the famous philosopher Immanuel Kant (author of Critique of Pure Reason), may be grappling with the longstanding philosophical debate of the subject-object problem. The apples are objects—Kanye and his friend are subjects. Kant would be concerned with the way the human mind processes this exchange; Kanye's sparse, self-evident prose suggests he may be pondering the very same questions. Or not.
The first thing Kanye needs to know about navigating outer space is that a towel is about the most massively useful thing you can have. Second, he should really pick up a copy of Douglas Adams' classic The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Third, don't ask NASA for help. If they didn't let Lance Bass fly into space, we don't think they'd take someone as unpredictable as Kanye.
If they do Serve Beer in Hell, Tucker Max can save Kanye West a bar stool. We actually think these two might get along pretty well, at least in swapping stories that blur the lines between offensive and misogynistic comments and honest humor. Let's hear it for the douchebags?
Two things come to mind when I think of missing cherubs: Kanye's Persian rug and Iain Pears' The Raphael Affair. Sadly, we think that Jonathan Argyll will find the cherub painting before Kanye gets his rugs. #NoDisrespectKanye
Want some more Kanye-inspired reads?
Check out 5 more Kanye Tweets Paired With Book Recommendations on Bookish