Cartwheeling Goalie Meets Perfect Opponent
I thought I knew where this was going. Goalie does Cartwheels before a penalty kick. At first I thought his cleats were going to get stuck in the net and the guy was going to score. Then I began to think he was going to save the ball with a cartwheel, which would have been awesome. Instead, real life intervened and the goalie got to feel the wrath of the Cartwheel as decorative flourish.
4chan Banned Me for Being Half Black, Half Woman
The illustrious, mysterious message board "4chan" has banned me from looking at it's boards because I am black. And a woman. In equal 50-50 measures. I hereby resolve to BOYCOTT the 4chan until such a time as either they have REVISED their RACIST and SEXIST policies, or until the internet embraces a non-racist non-sexist attitude towards ALL PEOPLE.