1. Floyd "Money" Mayweather: "Yep"
View this video on YouTube
Before he takes on Manny Pacquiao this weekend in an epic battle of Two Men Past Their Prime in a Fight That Should Have Happened Half a Decade Ago, let's reflect on Floyd Mayweather's brief dalliance into hip-hop. Dropping "Floyd" and leading with his nickname, you would think a man named "Money" would spring for a more professional camera crew for his music video. However, "Yep" indulges in the simple things: jewelry, parties, bikini girls, and handheld camcorders.
Choice Lyric: "They see the cars / They see the chips / They see the hos /They on my dick"
2. Jason Kidd: "What the Kidd Did"
View this video on YouTube
Former NBA superstar and current Milwaukee Bucks head coach Jason Kidd began and ended his rap career with "What The Kidd Did," a song recorded after his final season at Cal and before becoming the second overall pick in the 1994 NBA Draft. "What The Kidd Did" reflects on Jason's college and high school careers in a very (some might say too) literal fashion.
Choice Lyric: "Let’s go back a few years to be exact / High school the fools didn’t know how to act / At St. Joe’s the hos treated me different / But I was good on the dribble like an infant"
3. "Macho Man" Randy Savage: "Be a Man"
View this video on YouTube
The title track to Randy Savage's 2003 album, "Be a Man" is meant to be a diss track aimed at Savage's longtime archnemesis, Hulk Hogan. All of this is sort of surprising until you think about it and then it's not.
Choice Lyric: "They call you Hollywood? Don't make me laugh /
'Cause your movies and your acting skills are both trash / Your movies straight to video; the box office can't stand / While I got myself a feature role in Spider-Man"
4. Robert Brooks: "Jump (Into the Stands)"
View this video on YouTube
Anyone who's watched the Green Bay Packers play a home game over the last two decades knows it's a Lambeau Field tradition for players to jump into the crowd after every touchdown. However, as the years pass, few outside of Wisconsin remember how the tradition started. Luckily, the man who made the celebration famous, former Packers wideout Robert Brooks, recalls in explicit detail the history of the NFL's most enduring touchdown celebration in "Jump (Into the Stands)." Long story short: Brooks began the move when he saw Packers safety LeRoy Butler try and fail miserably to clear the barrier between the field and the bleachers.
Choice Lyric: "My idea came from LeRoy Butler ya know / But he stuck to the wall like Velcro."
5. Kobe Bryant Feat. Tyra Banks: "Kobe"
View this video on YouTube
Grantland already covered Kobe Bryant's tumultuous and short-lived rap career in exhaustive detail, so here's what you need to know: "Kobe" was the gimmicky single that helped kill Bryant's rap career before it even started. And yes, that's THE Tyra Banks singing the hook. A full album was planned but never released due to the music label quickly folding.
Incredibly Questionable Lyric In Retrospect: "Think ya eyein' me, all along, I'm eyein' you / The hunter becomes the hunted, girl, I'm preying on you"
6. Deion Sanders: "Must Be the Money"
View this video on YouTube
Before the days of Chad Johnson, Terrell Owens, and the rest, Deion Sanders invented the the larger-than-life, celebrity-athlete persona. Releasing his first and only album, Prime Time, in 1994, "Must Be the Money" and its accompanying music video attempted to convey what Sanders was all about at the time: money, style, and, above all else, flash.
Choice Lyric: "Diamond Rolex, with 'gators on my feet / I got two pair for every day of the week / My hair is done, my fingernails too / Six buttons down and I don't know what to do"
7. Clint "Deuce" Dempsey: "It's Poppin"
View this video on YouTube
Clint "Deuce" Dempsey's nickname and "It's Poppin" have a lot in common. Released during last year's World Cup, the U.S. Men's National Team's star player started a YouTube channel named after his forthcoming album, ReDUX. As of today, Dempsey's album still hasn't dropped.
Choice Lyric: "Got air miles, comet / Instagram, leave a comment / See my followers, I'm not common / Though I was raised off that ramen"
8. Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes Feat. Andre Rison: "Rags to Riches"
View this video on YouTube
Surprisingly, NFL wide receiver Andre Rison appeared on this track with TLC's Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes seven years AFTER a domestic dispute led Lopes to throw Rison's shoes into a bathtub, light them on fire, and accidentally burn down his house. Rison and Lopes dated off and on until her death in 2002.
Choice Lyric: "We all came from rags and went to riches / And the ones that's still messin' with them rags / You know what I'm sayin' / Keep your head up"
9. Chris Webber Feat. Kurupt: "Gangsta, Gangsta"
View this video on YouTube
The lead single off of his 1999 album 2 Much Drama, "Gangsta, Gangsta" was paired with a music video that confirms speculations about Chris Webber's personal life. Yes, the 6'10" power forward is at least a foot taller than everyone he parties with. He also gets to name-check Michigan Fab Five teammate Jalen Rose during one of his verses.
Choice Lyric: "Your girl was impressed when she met us / Woke up and made breakfast / My fellas? Yo can't forget us / Fetish for lettuce / From the home of J Rose and Jerome Bettis"
10. John Cena: "Right Now"
View this video on YouTube
As WWE fans know, John Cena doesn't just look the part of a guy who spends most of his downtime freestyling. Though he's frequently spotted spitting rhymes in rap battles with opponents and fans for some reason, "Right Now" is off of Cena's only album, 2008's You Can't See Me. Also, at the 1:02 mark in the music video, Cena throws what appears to be an incredibly mean curveball.
Choice Lyric: "Right now put another coat of wax on the ride / For a minute put the beef and the gats to the side / Cause this track's got a vibe to chill to / Enjoy life for five minutes, man it's not gon' kill you"
11. Allen Iverson: "40 Bars"
View this video on YouTube
Other than the occasional "ho" and "ass," most rap singles released by pro athletes are PG-rated family affairs. Not so with Allen Iverson's 2000 track, "40 Bars," which sat firmly at the other end of the lyrical spectrum. The violent, homophobic lyrics were so questionable that then NBA commissioner David Stern publicly condemned the single, forcing Iverson to pledge to change the lyrics and, eventually, cancel the release of his album.
Horrifying Lyrics in Question: "Get murdered in a second in the first degree / Come to me with f****t tendencies / You'll be sleeping where the maggots be"
12. Roy Jones Jr.: "Can't Be Touched"
View this video on YouTube
Arguably the greatest professional boxer of his time, Roy Jones Jr. is also one of very few professional athletes who can say they successfully released two entire rap albums. Compared to 2004's "Can't Be Touched," Floyd Mayweather's "Yep" doesn't stand a chance in the ring.
Choice Lyric: "God in my corner / N***a can't lose / Trying to take me out my hot damn shoes / See how quick I jump up and give you bitches the blues / They gonna see you on the hot damn news"
13. Ron Artest Feat. Mike Jones: "Get Low"
View this video on YouTube
Five years before renaming himself "Metta World Peace," the name that launched 1,000 LOLz, Ron Artest released his 2006 album My World. Not only did he recruit Mike Jones for his lead single "Get Low," but the album also featured Artest rapping alongside P. Diddy, Juvenile, Capone and more. The music video for "Get Low" is notable for its many cameos, including 49ers tight end Vernon Davis making an appearance during his rookie season in the NFL.
Choice Lyric: None. I can't understand what Artest is saying beyond "Artest Triple-X" and the full lyrics don't seem to exist anywhere on the internet. Oh well.
14. Shaquille O'Neal: "I Know I Got Skillz"
View this video on YouTube
The most commercially successful athlete turned rapper, Shaq's debut album Shaq Diesel actually went platinum. Platinum! Coldplay's latest album only sold half of that! "I Know I Got Skillz" came out in 1993, a time when Shaq's skillz were on full display after a dominating rookie season for the Magic. He followed up Shaq Diesel a year later with Shaq Fu: Da Return, an album that shared a name with one of the worst video games ever released.
Choice Lyric: "You wanna fight? Come fight me / I'll hit ya with the wa, psh, psh, psh, see, see / I get dirty after dark, I'll treat like Spielberg / You get your ass kicked in the park"