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Things That I Hate

Some people hate some things. I hate a lot of things. Here is what I hate. Disclaimer: Don't care. Bye.

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1. Drinking out of Hospital Water Bottles

Unless you had a baby in the last year, if I see you drinking out of a hospital water bottle I assume you have been recently deceased and are contagious. Get away from me, Gwyneth Paltrow!

2. Carrying more than Two Bags

I get it. You go to the gym or have a purse. Why do you have like a bag for blankets? Even worse, carrying a gallon of water with your gym bag, purse, diaper bag, laptop bag, iPhone carrying mini bag (you know who you are, Brenda). No, I will not hold the door for you.
I hate this lady.

I get it. You go to the gym or have a purse. Why do you have like a bag for blankets? Even worse, carrying a gallon of water with your gym bag, purse, diaper bag, laptop bag, iPhone carrying mini bag (you know who you are, Brenda). No, I will not hold the door for you.

3. Naming your Car

Isn't that cute! You own a vintage Chevy named Tiffany or a 1986 Ford Probe and it's so funny that Karen has duck tape on her bumper. "OMG guys! Miranda is in the shop, again! SAD EMOJI FACE" - said someone with no friends, to no one because they have no friends.
Sorry, friend, I don't want to get into "Lola" giggle giggle because it's a sex joke. / Via Literally go fuck yourself.

Isn't that cute! You own a vintage Chevy named Tiffany or a 1986 Ford Probe and it's so funny that Karen has duck tape on her bumper. "OMG guys! Miranda is in the shop, again! SAD EMOJI FACE" - said someone with no friends, to no one because they have no friends.

4. Owning only 1 iPhone cord

They are $5.99 on Amazon. You unplug your charging cable, take it home, plug it into an outlet near your couch and when you go to bed you plug it in near your night stand? What about the kitchen? Your office? Your car? Seriously your life is meaningless.
This photo is literally me.

They are $5.99 on Amazon. You unplug your charging cable, take it home, plug it into an outlet near your couch and when you go to bed you plug it in near your night stand? What about the kitchen? Your office? Your car? Seriously your life is meaningless.

5. Not Properly Cleaning your Hush

Via Penny. The End.

If someone can smell your Hush while you're peeing, clearly you're not getting ate on the reg. Throw some water on that bish, it stank.

6. Taking Business Casual to the Extreme

Jeans on Fridays is one thing. Sandals on days ending in Y is another. Please. Respect your peers by choosing to not dress like them. Also, no one IRL will sit in a pair of Khakis and then Jeans and say the Jeans were more comfortable. You're not a rebel for wearing jeans. They are $10 at Old Navy. You're gross. #4thfloorprobs.
Everyone knows khakis are the pajamas of the office.

Jeans on Fridays is one thing. Sandals on days ending in Y is another. Please. Respect your peers by choosing to not dress like them. Also, no one IRL will sit in a pair of Khakis and then Jeans and say the Jeans were more comfortable. You're not a rebel for wearing jeans. They are $10 at Old Navy. You're gross. #4thfloorprobs.

7. Making me Watch YouTube Videos on your iPhone 4 in 2016/Any Year Ever

Whyyyyyyy. Your phone is so old and your video is 10 minutes long. That's an eternity on social media years. Stop.
Oh cool "Shut Up and Dance" to a lot of clips of people dancing in movies. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Whyyyyyyy. Your phone is so old and your video is 10 minutes long. That's an eternity on social media years. Stop.

8. Custom Car Plates

Oh you're the #1 OSU fan? You used a "3" instead of an "E"? CLEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Except this one. It's real good.

Oh you're the #1 OSU fan? You used a "3" instead of an "E"? CLEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

9. Trying to sing "Anaconda" knowing I am in the bar

Nice try, asshole.
I own this song.

Nice try, asshole.

10. Putting the Twisty Tie back on a Loaf of Bread

BEND THE PLASTIC UNDER IT, NOW I LOST 10-30 SECONDS OF MY LIFE TYVM!
I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!

BEND THE PLASTIC UNDER IT, NOW I LOST 10-30 SECONDS OF MY LIFE TYVM!

11. People who call their mom "Mom"

"Ahh, ya know, had Mom call me on the cellular device and ahh, yah! She's doing pretty good!" No. She is YOUR mom. YOUR mom called you. Also, did you just leave a party to answer Mom?
You love YOUR mom.

"Ahh, ya know, had Mom call me on the cellular device and ahh, yah! She's doing pretty good!" No. She is YOUR mom. YOUR mom called you. Also, did you just leave a party to answer Mom?

12. Losing your shit when I say I haven't watched Game of Thrones

TY, Girl!

Because it has incest and I liked magical fiction WHEN IT WAS CALLED HARRY POTTER and the DOCTOR WHO of BUFFY!

13. When I want to get a wrap, declare that I am getting a wrap out loud and people I don't like want to come with me

Oh, Alice.

No.

14. When your friend cannot take a selfie with you because her phone ran out of storage

No, this isn't a "hate" from 2004, it's 2016. What's wrong with you?

No, this isn't a "hate" from 2004, it's 2016. What's wrong with you?

15. And finally.....When Donald Trump takes our catchphrase Again Also

Seriously, DT, you're ruining my faith in America. Why must you also take our catch phrase also again, also?Again.
DATS TROLL!!!

Seriously, DT, you're ruining my faith in America. Why must you also take our catch phrase also again, also?

Again.

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