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Things That I Hate

Some people hate some things. I hate a lot of things. Here is what I hate. Disclaimer: Don't care. Bye.

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1. Drinking out of Hospital Water Bottles

Unless you had a baby in the last year, if I see you drinking out of a hospital water bottle I assume you have been recently deceased and are contagious. Get away from me, Gwyneth Paltrow!

2. Carrying more than Two Bags

I hate this lady.

I get it. You go to the gym or have a purse. Why do you have like a bag for blankets? Even worse, carrying a gallon of water with your gym bag, purse, diaper bag, laptop bag, iPhone carrying mini bag (you know who you are, Brenda). No, I will not hold the door for you.

3. Naming your Car

Sorry, friend, I don't want to get into "Lola" giggle giggle because it's a sex joke. / Via Literally go fuck yourself.

Isn't that cute! You own a vintage Chevy named Tiffany or a 1986 Ford Probe and it's so funny that Karen has duck tape on her bumper. "OMG guys! Miranda is in the shop, again! SAD EMOJI FACE" - said someone with no friends, to no one because they have no friends.

4. Owning only 1 iPhone cord

This photo is literally me.

They are $5.99 on Amazon. You unplug your charging cable, take it home, plug it into an outlet near your couch and when you go to bed you plug it in near your night stand? What about the kitchen? Your office? Your car? Seriously your life is meaningless.

6. Taking Business Casual to the Extreme

Everyone knows khakis are the pajamas of the office.

Jeans on Fridays is one thing. Sandals on days ending in Y is another. Please. Respect your peers by choosing to not dress like them. Also, no one IRL will sit in a pair of Khakis and then Jeans and say the Jeans were more comfortable. You're not a rebel for wearing jeans. They are $10 at Old Navy. You're gross. #4thfloorprobs.

7. Making me Watch YouTube Videos on your iPhone 4 in 2016/Any Year Ever

Oh cool "Shut Up and Dance" to a lot of clips of people dancing in movies. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Whyyyyyyy. Your phone is so old and your video is 10 minutes long. That's an eternity on social media years. Stop.

11. People who call their mom "Mom"

You love YOUR mom.

"Ahh, ya know, had Mom call me on the cellular device and ahh, yah! She's doing pretty good!" No. She is YOUR mom. YOUR mom called you. Also, did you just leave a party to answer Mom?

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