9 Ways To Trick Your Significant Other Into Letting You Watch Sports
Desperate times, like needing to watch a preseason football game when your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend would rather do literally anything else, call for desperate measures. Here are some of the leading methods of sports-related relationship trickery.
1.Turn on games you have no interest in watching just to be able to score points by turning them off.
2.Lie shamelessly about the quality of dining and shopping options available in the vicinity of any stadium where you want to go to a game.
3.Describe your favorite players not in terms of their importance to your team (i.e. what you care about), but in terms of the vibrancy of their smiles and their dedication to charity work (i.e. what your significant other might conceivably care about).
4.Describe games you want to watch in terms of personality conflicts between players on opposing teams, as if you were selling a television drama.
5.Make sure your family obligations coincidentally end up getting scheduled for fall weekends when your football team has a bye week.
6.Develop an extensive knowledge of which players are, or were once, dating celebrities.
7.Don't overplay the "But It's The Playoffs" Card.
8.Develop a barter system in which, for example, you trade the rights to watch one regular football season game for the obligation to watch two nature documentaries.
And the most devious trick of all...
9.Get a job at BuzzFeed Sports so it always counts as "work."