Hello, my name is Blair and it's been 109 days since my last drop of soda.
Do I miss it? Hell yeah I miss it! Anyone who embraces the myth that pizza and beer is the ultimate pairing is obviously a Trump supporter. Nothing compares to the heavenly union of a giant greasy pizza and the fizzy deliciousness of a Diet Coke. So why would I turn my back on this caramel-colored elixir from the Gods? It's simple, cancer.
The term "hypochondriac" is thrown around extensively by my friends. However, I feel my concerns are backed by facts courtesy of article titles on WebMD. I think I know a bit more than my friends. Case in point, did you diet soda may not help you lose weight? It's true, there's a WebMD article. The fact that I've been soda-free for 3 months is nothing short of a miracle considering it was my main source of hydration.
My addiction commenced following an extensive weight gain. After college, I started seeing a personal trainer because I was tired of being confused for Calista Flockhart's body double. My trainer advised me to eat six meals a day, which wasn't hard because working-out made me super hungry. I took this information at face value without delving deep. Needless to say, I kept McDonald's in business while my waist line expanded. You'd think I would've noticed, right? Nope. I just assumed I was bulking up.
My friend Christie eventually intervened. It's important to note that around this time, I was drinking full-fat Coke. Once Christie raised the vale, she put me on the Weight Watchers path. She pointed out that if I substituted Coke for Diet Coke, I could "go nuts" because it's zero points. Fortunately, I lost the weight. Unfortunately, I gained an addiction.
This is not my first attempt at quitting diet soda, but it is my most triumphant. What reason do I attribute to this successful round? Vanity. It's what makes the world go round. Plus, if I'm going to "get my groove back" when I go to Punta Cana this summer, then I'm going to need to pull off a Speedo without evoking laughter.
The temptation has been tough at times but I've stuck to my guns. Whenever I feel the urge to indulge, I talk myself off that ledge and eat cookie dough instead. And before you get all judgey on me, let me point out the health benefits of cookie dough. The ingredients include: eggs (protein), milk (bone health) and dark chocolate (prostate cancer's nemesis).
I'm proud of my accomplishments thus far. And for those naysayers who don't think diet soda is addictive, then clearly you haven't provided guidance to a struggling streetwalker.
Okay, neither have I but it is addictive. Delicious, but addictive. To fellow addicts, I raise my tube of cookie dough to you in solidarity.