10 Dumbest Indiana Laws

C’mon guys, really? Monkeys smoking cigarettes? There are some pretty dumb laws out there, but Indiana takes the cake with a few of these.

1. “One may only throw a stone at a bird in self-defense.”

Wanna kill two birds with one stone? Not in Indianapolis! Queue references to Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds.

2. “While driving on Main Street you may not have your lights on.”

Evansville — come on! Nighttime driving just became a life and death situation. This is why we can’t have nice things.

3. “A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17.”

This is a state-wide law. I always made fun of this one — whenever I drive places with my friends, I make sure to warn them about their seatbelts and to make sure they had their socks and shoes on. Seems just a bit too excessive, right?

4. “Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.”

Scrub-a-dub-dub, get out of that tub! This old state law is still in the books — albeit for completely no reason at all. While I’m not advocating breaking the law, I think it should be illegal to NOT bathe yourself in the winter — there’s a line that needs to be crossed at some point. Enjoy your bubble baths, fellow Hoosiers!

5. “Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans.”

Still got that moustache from No Shave November (or Movember)? This Indiana State law doesn’t want you going around kissing random people! Gotta lose the ‘stache if so, sorry guys.

6. “It is illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette.”

Got a cig? Don’t give it to your pet monkey! This South Bend law makes it illegal to give that primate your cancer sticks. Keep the tar and chemicals away, my friends.

7. “No one may throw their old computer across the street at their neighbor.”

To be completely honest, this Warsaw law says “It shall be unlawful for any person to throw any snowball, stone or other hard substance, or any other missile along, across or over any street, alley, sidewalk or other public place within the limits of the city.”

Baseballs, computers, ottomans — the whole kit and kaboodle. Just don’t get in any computer fights with your neighbors across the street!

8. “It is illegal for barbers to threaten to cut off kid’s ears.”

Conversely related to the moustache law, this Elkhart statute keeps any barbers from messing around with kids. “I’m gonna cut off your ear if you don’t settle down!” And here come the tears, exhibit 1 on why I’ll never be a barber.

9. “It is forbidden to eat watermelon in the park.”

Don’t go to Beech Grove this summer if you want a worthwhile picnic at the park! “Only in Beech Grove,” said one incredulous resident, when told about the ordinance. While it’s never been enforced, it’s in the books for years, so eat that watermelon — I dare ya!

10. “The value of Pi is 3.2”

And finally, my favorite one of the lot. Back in 1897, The Indiana Pi Bill was proposed to make computing Pi much easier by rounding it to 3.2. According to this Reddit post, “The Indiana State House of Representatives passed the bill, but when it got to the senate it was rejected because a math professor had coached the senators on why it was wrong.”

Thankfully we’ve changed quite a lot since 1897! Or have we?

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