Figuring Out Your Fantasy Fantasy Football Lineup

What if you could make fantasy football a little lighter on football and a little heavier on fantasy? Yeah, we’re talking wizard magic here people. Chew on that over your next fantastically delicious Big Mac.

1. QB - Dwarf

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PRO: Compact and powerful delivery.
PRO: Amazing accuracy hitting targets downfield.
CON: Inability to see targets downfield.

2. WR - Wizard

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PRO: Has magical hands.
PRO: The consummate technician.
CON: Will occasionally disappear.

3. Flex RB/WR - Minotaur

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PRO: The perfect play for those who can’t make a decision.
PRO: Always has at least two points…. because of the horns.
CON: Notorious droppings. (Poop joke!)

4. TE - Troll

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PRO: Total sleeper. Should be available late in the draft.
PRO: Powerful hands.
CON: Cares less about earning points and more about gaining attention with inflammatory internet commentary.

5. RB - Poltergeist

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PRO: Ability to make people miss.
PRO: Will be a consistent presence.
CON: Weak hands.

6. Kicker - Cyclops

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PRO: Supreme accuracy and tunnel vision.
PRO: Isn’t afraid to make a big play.
CON: Depth perception (or lack thereof).

7. Defense / ST - Leprechaun

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PRO: Tough to find their paydirt.
PRO: Causes mayhem as a unit.
CHAUN: Quarterbacks have been known to feast on their soft marshmallowy zones.

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