The 30 Things That Happen When You Turn 30
30 is the new 60.
Your Facebook feed is filled with four things:
Few things excite you more than getting asked for your ID.
But on the other hand, there's nothing more depressing than when you get called "sir" or "ma'am."
You get excited when you go to a concert and there are CHAIRS!
And you're starting to think twice before buying passes to music festivals that go on for days.
You don't get why kids say that "don't trust anyone over 30." Surely they're not talking about you, right? You're one of the cool ones!
When you tell stories from high school, you're often struck with the sudden realization that they happened over TEN YEARS ago.
When you rewatch the movies or shows you grew up with, you now identify with the parents more than the kids.
You get pissed at your neighbors and tell at them to turn down their music when they throw parties in the middle of the week.
You can't leave home without Tums, or Pepto, or whatever else you take to control your digestive system.
You'll take any excuse to leave a bar or a club: too loud, too hot, too many people, and so on, and so on.
The days where you could drink whatever you want without having a terrible hangover the next day are long gone.
You take sunblock seriously for the first time in your life.
You've said the phrase "I'm getting too old for this" sincerely.
Your back hurts when you sit down for too long, or lie down for too long, or when you stand for too long, or when you move at all in any direction and for any reason.
Credit cards are suddenly something you spend a lot of time focusing on and worrying about.
You still can't decide if you want a dog, a child, both, or neither.
When you travel, you prefer to do so with a little dignity. Gone are the days of packed hostels with 25 bunk beds.
Today's radio hits are totally unfamiliar to you.
More and more, you prefer to stay home rather than go out partying...
You're suddenly very open about your bathroom habits, and you'll tell anyone who will listen about your poop.
You constantly wonder how your parents had a career, house, and children by the time they were your age.
You hit that point where you stop buying clothes purely for style, and you start to consider how comfortable they are.
You're getting to that age where technology is starting to confuse you, and you've found yourself asking for younger people to explain stuff to you recently.
You come back from the supermarket with a lot more fruits, vegetables, and fiber now. So much fiber.
You don't know who most YouTubers are.
You're a lot more interested in calm and relaxing hobbies than you used to be, like knitting, or guitar, or painting, or adult coloring books
When you have to pull an all-nighter for some reason, you spend all night wondering how the hell you could pull these off in high school as often as you did.
When you look at yourself in the mirror too closely, you start to notice the wrinkles and crow's feet your parents used to complain about all the time.
And now you have to be in bed by 11pm every night, if not earlier, or else.
This post was translated from Spanish.
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