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Posted on Jun 9, 2010

What Your Choice of Super Soaker Says About You

The 2010 Super Soakers are here! Unfortunately, they're all entirely underwhelming when compared with the late 90s models. Still, I think that we should all gear up. Here's what your choice of Super Soaker says about you.

  • 1. The Hydro Fury

    You don't really like to fight or get soaked. Most days of the week, you are afraid to even leave your house. One of these water pistols is kept under your pillow while you sleep at night. The other is shared amongst your 14 cats.

  • 2. The Iron Man 2 Blaster

    You want to seem in the know and "with it" when it comes to current trends. Rather than actually learn about comic mythology and Marvel canon, you believe that this dinky, little squirt gun will be adequate.

  • 3. The Transformers Bumblebee Blaster

    You are living in 2009. Your favorite song is "I Gotta Feeling" by The Black-Eyed Peas and Rue McClanahan is still alive in your mind.

  • 4. The Rattler

    You are a semi-pro watergun enthusiast with a growing collection. Your coworkers respect you and you have a normal day job.

  • 5. The Shot Blast

    You are the king of the block when it comes to watergun fights, and settled on this gun because the 2010 lineup is awful when compared with past years.

  • 6. Any Super Soaker Made Before 2010 (Especially This Bastard)

    You are Legend.

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