1. What the fuck is this?
2. Isn't this just like Tinder?
3. Oh wait no, wait this is better than Tinder.
4. How do I fix my profile?
5. Wait, how do I fix this? These pictures aren't in optimal order.
6. Ugh whatever, fuck the pictures. I won't come on here anyway.
7. Oh my god this guy is cute.
8. He's 6'4?! You can see height on this?! I'm never using Tinder again.
9. I didn't match with him. I want to kill myself.
10. I'm going back to Tinder.
11. Wait, no ok this is fine I'll look at it again.
12. HE'S FRIENDS WITH SARAH EW HE SUCKS.
13. Oh my god but it looks like he played football at USC.
14. 5'8? How did you play at USC?
15. Is he just wearing a jersey? Next.
16. Wait this guy looks tall.
17. AND THIS GUY WORKS IN FINANCE.
18. I'm never going to need to work again.
19. Please match please match please match.
21. Wait. How do I message someone?
22. No, playing hard to get. He better message me first.
23. It has been 5 minutes how have you not messaged me yet.
24. Do I get push notifications for this?
25. HOW DO I ENABLE PUSH NOTIFICATIONS??
26. Oh my god, calm down. It's a fucking app.
27. Going to go on Tinder while I wait for this message.
28. Wait, no I need to wait here because I don't know if the notifications work.
29. Alright, going to look at some more while I wait for this shit.
30. Why are all of this guy's pictures with multiple people?
31. I DON'T HAVE THE PATIENCE TO FIND OUT WHICH ONE YOU ARE. ONE SELFIE WOULD BE APPRECIATED.
32. Oh wait I think he is that one. Oh my god yes he is.
33. Swipe right.
34. Wait shit, is it still swipe right on this app?
35. This guy works at Gap? Like the store or the corporation? Not risking it.
36. BATTERY DYING. FIND PHONE CHARGER.
37. Ew, no.
38. GOD NO.
39. Oooo yes yes, this one.
40. Why hasn't the finance guy messaged me yet?
41. OH MY GOD WAIT HE MESSAGED ME.
42. Wait no.. It's the USC wannabe. Didn't I swipe him right? Have I been swiping the wrong way?
43. Ugh, should I just message that guy?
44. No don't message him.
45. Yes, I mean I can't ALWAYS play hard to get.
46. God dammit Tinder is less stressful than this horseshit.
47. I'm not going to check this for like a week, and then I'll have a lot of messages.
48. Alright back to Tinder.
49. Wait, just one more check.
50. FUCK. Fuck this app, I'll just be single forever.