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25 Things For People Who Like Comfort More Than People

Hold on, there's a missed call from my sofa.

1. A monthly stylish sock subscription that means one less trip outside.

2. This ostrich pillow that lets you bury your face in sleep mode no matter where you are.

3. A t-shirt that reminds people how much you're sacrificing for them right now.

4. A four-foot-long bear pillow that gives the best snuggles.

5. This shower curtain that lets other people know when it's "me time."

6. Hobbit slippers you can wear for the 34 hours it takes to watch the whole Lord of the Rings trilogy.

7. This shearling cocoon pet bed because sometimes even dogs can't people.

8. These Edison bulb string lights that are dim and cozy and cinematic.

9. A travel sleep mask for disconnecting.

10. These sleek stereo headphones because... sorry I can't hear you, I don't want to.

11. A wearable blanket for giving up in.

12. A decorative plate that elegantly states the obvious.

13. The perfect wine glass for those not comfortable with sharing.

14. A bath mat that tells you what human people might forget to.

15. A split-king sleep number bed, like I know you want to cuddle, but I'm a 46, and you're a 28, soooo . . .

16. A single-person sauna for when you just want to have a good sweat and not risk eye contact with unfamiliar balls.

17. This tee for people who made their decision and are absolutely okay with it.

18. This one-person tent for spectators who are here to watch the game, not make friends.

19. A super cozy sleeping bag for when you just gotta get away from people and sleep in grass.

20. A casual 1,079-page read that'll have you canceling all of next year's plans.

21. This ultra-foofy down alternative comforter for hibernating.

Get it for $29 on Amazon.

22. These toe alignment socks that you'll wear and literally have to fight off people trying to be friends with you.

23. A blanket for people who want to be where the people aren't.

24. A floor-mopping robot that lets you stay in bed and watch Swamp People.

25. And an enormous foam bag chair that sucks you into its loving quicksand arms and no, you can't get on it with me.

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