Charlotte Gomez, BuzzFeed We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales from the links on this page. 1. A subscription to Fuego Box, the mouth party that delivers monthly. @fuegobox / Via instagram.com Get the most basic package (one-bottle monthly subscription) at CrateJoy for $12.95/month. 2. A t-shirt with very clear in-case-of-emergency instructions. amazon.com Get it from Amazon for $16.99. Available in five colors, in sizes S-3XL. 3. This all-occasion banner. etsy.com Get it from Little Retreats on Etsy for $18. 4. A keychain for people who know the truth, and the truth is that dry rub is bullshit. etsy.com Get it from Urt and Racky's on Etsy for $12. 5. This crew-neck sweatshirt for someone with priorities. etsy.com Get it from Dainty Dirtbags on Etsy for $17.99+. Available in three colors, in sizes S-XXL. 6. A mobile to end all mobiles. uncommongoods.com Get it at Uncommon Goods for $48. 7. Wall art for people who consider "spicy" a major food group. etsy.com Get it from theNATIONALanthem on Etsy for $10+. 8. A tank for you weirdos who would probably just drink ranch from the bottle if no one were watching. lookhuman.com Get it at Human for $19.99. Available in seven colors and seven different styles, in sizes XS-XL. 9. These ceramic chalkboard condiment jars for the cookout hostess with the mostess. target.com Get the set of four from Target for $14.99. 10. This set of saucy onesies and matching caps. etsy.com Get it from Buzz Bear Studio on Etsy for $59. 11. Mike's Hot Honey for pizza, chicken, ribs, biscuits, salads, fruits, cheeses, ice cream, sensual fun, wounds, you name it. amazon.com Get it from Amazon for $13.95. 12. A phone case for someone whose religious affiliation is guac. etsy.com Get it from Decorus Cases on Etsy for $16.64. 13. An organic cotton hot sauce rattle for the future foodie. shopspring.com Get it from Spring for $18. 14. *pew!* *pew!* *pew! pew!* MUSTARD GUN. hearthsong.com / Via The Sharper Image Get it from Hearthsong for $9.98. 15. This PG-13 flatware. etsy.com Get the set from Baby Puppy Designs on Etsy for $42. 16. A pack of pins for the condiment groupie. etsy.com Get the set of 10 from Yesware11 on Etsy for $12. 17. The perfect gift set for anyone that's a slut for salted caramel. food52.com Get the set of six from Food52 for $20. 18. A candle that smells like the only smell that matters. man-cans.com Every candle is handmade in Ohio inside a recycled soup can and helps provide a meal to someone in need.Get it from Man Cans for $9.50. 19. These very content condiment and wiener link keychains. kidrobot.com Get set at Kidrobot for $4.99. 20. A pair of friendship necklaces for the power duo. etsy.com Get the set from Castaway Cove on Etsy for $34. 21. Cufflinks for someone you wish would stop ordering ketchup at fancy restaurants. etsy.com Get them from Swag Up on Etsy for $16.49. 22. A tote to carry what matters. etsy.com Get it from Kazvare Made It on Etsy for $14.07. 23. These PET CONDIMENTS, because I'd run away too after four years of dry-ass kibble. amazon.com Get the set on Amazon for $24.95. 24. An ornament that'll spice up someone's tree. modcloth.com Get it at Modcloth for $9.99. 25. A gift box full of Harry & David's best-selling gourmet relishes. harryanddavid.com Get the set of four from Harry & David for $29.99. 26. A t-shirt for advocates who know that marinara's Schedule 1 classification is just a conspiracy that favors the monopoly on regulations by Big Parma. zazzle.com Get it from Zazzle for $24.80. Available in 22 colors, in sizes S-6XL. 27. Fridge magnets that remind you what to stock up on. etsy.com Get the set of four from Lucky Horse Press on Etsy for $12. 28. An adorable container of crocheted nuggets and sauces that we'll just get drunk and be mad at. etsy.com Get it from beccabeargirl on Etsy for $20. 29. A ceramic gravy boat warmer that serves gravy, dressings, cheese sauces, melted butter, and ice cream toppings at the perfect temperature. bedbathandbeyond.com Get it at Bed Bath & Beyond for $19.99. 30. A miniature condiment picnic table for someone who likes funny tiny picnic tables. etsy.com Get it from 1Man1Garage on Etsy for $10. 31. Or a donation on a loved one's behalf to the National Mustard Museum in Middleton, Wisconsin. sumoflam.biz / Via The National Mustard Museum Donations start at $10. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Guy Walks Into a Bar Productions / Via Giphy Want even more great product suggestions? Sign up for BuzzFeed’s Gift Guide Newsletter! If you can't see the signup box above, just go here to sign up for the BuzzFeed Gift Guide newsletter!