1. How the damn hell are Emily and Allison raising a two child family on public school teachers’ salaries and maintaining their small Mansion?
2. Why didn’t they just make Spencer’s twin somehow be Bethany Young so everything would tie together better? You really expect us to believe Wren just ran into her in British pub, and if he hadn’t, none of this would have happened?
3. How did Charlotte have the time, resources and money to build the OG dollhouse? How did she run the game while she had to be on construction duty underground?
4. They showed Alex having sex with Toby at the Radley, then immediately cut to Spencer being kidnapped by Mona at the barn, then showed her waking up with Alex in front of her at Toby’s old house, then showed Alex running into Ezra leaving the Radley after fucking Toby. THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE.
5. Why did they kidnap Ezra in the first place? Just to ruin Aria’s wedding? That literally just made them all go into detective mode to find him and sniff Alex out. If the wedding just happened, she probably would have gotten away with impersonating Spencer for longer.
6. Why did they do Sasha Pieterse SO DIRTY in the last few seasons by dressing her in SUCH GOD AWFUL UNFLATTERING CLOTHES??? It’s like the costume department had never had to dress a body that wasn’t rail thin before-- OH WAIT they hadn’t. She deserves better.
7. Why did they spend so much fucking time on all the bullshit romance in the first hour? Spencer wasn’t kidnapped until the halfway point in the episode and it was way too rushed after that.
8. Who the fuck taught Troian Bellisario to do that cockney accent and who continually told her she was doing a good job, I JUST WANNA TALK.
9. Why did Alex continue working with Mona after finding out she was the one who killed Charlotte? That’s all Alex wanted in the first place, why didn’t she just kill Mona? The girls literally had nothing to do with it.
10. How did Alex build the goddamn board game? She was described to as a edgy, bartending orphan from the wrong side of the British tracks, and you’re telling me she built a machine that stumped Caleb AND Mona??? Bullshit.
11. Why was Rollins/Dunhill EVER EVEN A PLOT?!?!?! Alex passed it off in two seconds that him torturing Ali was all his idea and it had nothing to do with literally anything and yet we still spent ALL OF SEASON 7 WORRYING ABOUT HIS GODDAMN MURDER.
12. When did Alex kill Wren and why tf
13. How did she get Wren’s sperm to impregnate Allison? Did she obtain that sperm before or after his death? I hate that this show made me type these questions.
14. What the hell was with Mona using a Melissa mask and then revealing it was fake just 5 minutes later? If you’re gonna throw a red herring at us, at least wait it out for a few scenes.
15. WHY WASN’T JASON IN THIS EPISODE AND WHERE HAS HE BEEN
16. Why wasn’t Mike, Aria’s brother, at her stupid fucking wedding?
17. Why did you try and ruin Hanna and Caleb’s relationship for 10 minutes like DO NOT THROW THAT BULLSHIT AT US.
18. And why did Mona have to be living with them anyways? Hanna said she literally had nobody else to turn to, what about her fucking parents?? Mona’s mom was definitely in an episode when she fake died and I’m pretty sure she’d be concerned about her daughter having a psychotic break and ending up back in a mental institution. Just because they’re 25 doesn’t mean parents disappear.
19. Why did Mary Drake help Alex kidnap Spencer? I thought they were chill, she gave her a resort.
20. When did Alex have time to renovate Toby’s The Notebook house into another underground super dungeon dollhouse? I thought she wasn’t in Rosewood for the last year, per the shot of AD driving off into the sunset in S7E19? Did Charlotte leave behind construction tips?
21. Why was Wren fine with his girlfriend running off to torture Spencer and co.? They didn’t show him fighting back enough.
22. Why did he just fucking shoot her in the shoulder when she asked?
23. How did he shoot the spot so accurately without accidentally shooting her in the face or heart?
24. What did they do after he shot her? Just bandage her up and pour a cup of tea??
25. WHY DIDN’T SHE JUST USE SOME CONVINCING HALLOWEEN MAKEUP INSTEAD OF A LITERAL BULLET?
26. Why the hell was he dating his ex-fiance’s sister’s evil twin in the first place? Wren was truly fucked in the head.
27. Why did Alex’s dungeon include a fake outdoor setting that didn’t actually look like Spencer’s house? I thought that was her whole aesthetic? What was the purpose of the fake porch and trees??
28. What was the entire last 3 minutes of the episode?
29. When did Mona move to France?
30. How did she nab that hot boyfriend?
31. How far into the future is this? Why were we not given a “1 year later” etc. like at the episode’s beginning?
32. How did she build her own underground dungeon and SERIOUSLY IS THERE A MANUAL?
33. Most importantly, how did she kidnap Mary and Alex from Rosewood police custody and smuggle them out of the country ALL BY HERSELF?
34. Why did they reshoot the show’s first ever scene with this B squad?
35. Is this the whole reason we had to put up with that nonessential Addison bitch for half a season?
36. I understand setting up a spinoff, but what is their plan? Are they literally going to redo the entire show over again with different people, one of whom is related to Maya?
37. WHY DID YOU KILL OFF MAYA 10 YEARS AGO SHE WAS THE ONLY DECENT CHARACTER never forget.
38. Why did Sara Harvey exist why why why why why why why
39. How could you truly and unironically end the show and save Spencer’s life one last time BASED SOLELY ON JENNA MARSHALL’S SENSE OF SMELL. YOU GO TOO FAR.
40. Why did they name the twin Alex when Spencer had a boyfriend named Alex in season 1? Could they literally not come up with any other names that start with A that weren’t Alison, Aria or Addison? Amy. Anna. Alyssa. Amanda. Abby. Angela. WTF.
41. What was up with the first scene of the episode? Was it really just Mona daydreaming into her snowglobe? Was somebody dreaming that? Why was that Lucas’ only appearance in the whole episode??
42. When did Wren, Alex, Charlotte and Archer have time to be a dynamic double dating foursome? The timeline of Charlotte growing up in Radley, getting out privileges to hang out with Alison/date Jason, leave Rosewood, return after Ali’s “death” as CeCe, leave Rosewood again to meet Alex and chill in Europe, return again to run the game and build dollhouse, be in Welby for 5 years, and then die JUST DOESN’T REALLY ADD UP.
43. How did Wren even meet Charlotte? Radley? Why did he think to introduce Alex to Charlotte and not the Hastings?
44. Throwing it way back, why did Ali ever fake her own death and go on the run for 2 years at age 15? Considering the person threatening her was Mona it just seems really really really dramatic and stupid in hindsight.
45. Where did she live for 2 years? How did she have any money? How did she get around? Why have these basic fundamental plot questions never been answered?
46. Why was everyone suddenly so fucking reproductive?
47. Why are we all still pretending it’s okay that Aria married her goddamn high school English teacher and that he became one of the gang? The credibility of this whole show can be negated on that one simple, ILLEGAL, PREDATORY fact.
48. Where do I sign up to get refunded for the last 7 years of my life?