1. You have zero tolerance for the adolescent population of the world.
In fact, sometimes they even make you feel unsafe in your own city.
Because they are always up to no good, those youths.
2. But despite your loathing of youths, you cling to your past youthful self.
3. You're sorry, but you can't help it if you're popular.
Or if you're the best looking member of your friend group.
4. You are completely disillusioned with the state of the world we live in today.
5. You know that the person you can rely on the most is none other than yours truly.
6. You strongly believe that any conflict can be resolved using presents.
7. You are accepting of all cultures and religions.
8. You were born to be wild.
9. You are very hospitable when it comes to inviting people into your home.
10. And when it comes to pain, you suck it up like a man.
11. You are teeming with ingenious metaphors.
12. You are the voice of reason amongst your friends.
13. You own lots of essential everyday articles of clothing.
14. You've got a little bit of R. Kelly buried deep down inside you.
15. And maybe a hint of Jesse McCartney as well.
16. You love your freaking chutney.
And especially your chut-i-ney.
17. You have your very own sassy catchphrase.
18. You are very in tune with today's internet lingo.
19. You believe that fish are the most esteemed of pets.
20. You always come to the party prepared.
21. You are extremely mature for your age.
22. You are full of family-friendly advice.
23. You most definitely peaked in high school.
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