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9 Things No One Tells You About Life In Your 20s

Your 20s – it’s nothing less than a shit storm. Some of your friends will be engaged, have children and probably own a house; there’s bound to be a few that decide to “find themselves” on the beaches of Bali, forcing you on the journey through hourly Instagram posts with deep yet somewhat irrelevant captions; there will be those who are in denial, going out every weekend and clinging on to those student days with no real plans for the future… and there will be you, stuck somewhere in between. It's not an easy time. It's messy. It's tough. It pushes you to limits far beyond what you've known before. But there are so many great things too and it's important to try and enjoy the ride! Here are the 9 things I wish someone told me about life in your 20s.

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1. You don't have to have your shit together.

Shock - I know! If you're anything like me, since the dawn of time (or hitting your teens), you'll have had it all planned out. I thought I'd find a perfect job, meet Mr. Right... house, marriage, kids, 12 dogs, a goldfish, bla bla bla. You know what I mean. It just doesn't work like that. With all the will in the world, things are going to go wrong and you need to know that it's okay. That job you worked so hard for might be shit and not worth the stress: quit, it's okay. Mr Right might be Mr Wrong: get rid of that loser, it's also okay! You have to trust the timing of your life and know that what's meant to be will be. You don't have to have it all planned out at 21, 22, 23 or 29. If you do, that's great, but if you don't then don't sweat it - neither do the rest of us!
Via tenor.com

Shock - I know! If you're anything like me, since the dawn of time (or hitting your teens), you'll have had it all planned out. I thought I'd find a perfect job, meet Mr. Right... house, marriage, kids, 12 dogs, a goldfish, bla bla bla. You know what I mean. It just doesn't work like that. With all the will in the world, things are going to go wrong and you need to know that it's okay. That job you worked so hard for might be shit and not worth the stress: quit, it's okay. Mr Right might be Mr Wrong: get rid of that loser, it's also okay! You have to trust the timing of your life and know that what's meant to be will be. You don't have to have it all planned out at 21, 22, 23 or 29. If you do, that's great, but if you don't then don't sweat it - neither do the rest of us!

2. Most people are dicks.

Perez Hilton / Via perezhilton.com

It's a hard one to swallow, but it's true - most people are dicks. They'll stop in front of you when you're walking; they'll push to get on a train before you've managed to get off; they won't even splutter a "thank-you" when you hold a door open. There just aren't many people in the world who give when there is nothing in return and it's a realisation you'll face pretty early on. I'm one of those that tries to see the best in everybody but it's been to my detriment many times. This isn't to say there aren't any good eggs out there, some people are bloody lovely. But I just wish I hadn't felt the need to always find the good in everyone. Sometimes, it just isn't there. People are dicks. Once you accept it and move on, you'll save yourself a whole lot of misery and thinking time.

3. Making good friends is bloody difficult. Keeping them is harder.

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When I was at school, my friend's dad once told me to "make the most of it because you'll never have this many friends again." He was so right! Don't get me wrong, there were people I was glad to see the back of, but what happened to all those "BFFs" you grew up with having sleepovers and planning your wedding? It's a sad reality, but I bet not many made the cut. People change. Life gets in the way.  It's hard to make new friends as well because time becomes more scarce. Even the friends you do have might let you down. Don't cling on to friendships just because. Focus your time on those that really mean something and enhance your life, those that understand you might not see them every day but would always be there if they needed you. Just because you were friends with someone aged 13, doesn't mean you're going to be friends forever. (You might be, sure - but you don't HAVE to be). Choose your friends. Choose them wisely. And when you find a good one, bloody keep them.

4. You're going to get your heart broken.

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Okay, so you might not, but chances are it's going to shatter once or twice. In the age of Nicholas Sparks, most of us grew up with unrealistic expectations of falling in love. If you aren't prepared, then this one can really hit you hard. When your heart is broken it can feel like the end of the world and like nothing will ever be right again. Spoiler alert: it will! Your 20s is the time where you begin to find yourself as a person. Part of that journey is discovering the qualities you really want in a partner. You're bound to experience a few break ups and heart aches before you really find the right person and knowing that it's all part of your journey can make the darkest times a little brighter. (You'll probably need a few tequilas as well, but the thought is there.)

5. Your family are (probably) not Godly beings.

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Growing up, everyone thinks that their parents are heroes and can do no wrong. It's a bit shit when you realise that actually, as amazing as they might be, they are actually only human. This stage in your life is pretty confusing and you'll make decisions your family don't agree with. You'll find yourself in arguments with the people closest to you and it can be a lonely state of affairs. You might drift apart from your siblings. You might feel like you're letting your folks down because (see number 1,) you just don't have your shit together yet. It's important to realise that the transition into being a proper adult is tough. You'll always be your parent's child, but you're just not A CHILD anymore. Boundaries get blurred and it's a minefield for everyone. You won't be the first to go through this shit though and you definitely won't be the last. Your family are for life and in 10 years time they really aren't going to remember the fact you still left your wet towels on the floor when you were 21.

6. Instagram is a lie.

Via m.popkey.co

It's so easy to get sucked into the trap of Instagram. We all do it. Before the day has even started, I've spent 10 minutes scrolling through everyone else's highlight reel. I've only just realised the life changing fact that Instagram is nothing more than a lie. How many selfies do you think have been taken before the perfect, edited shot is posted? How many moments do you think are wasted trying to get the right angle of organic sprout soup with a massive side dish of please just bore off? It's not fucking reality. Even my feed isn't. I'm not going to post the shit crisp sandwich I had for tea last night because I was too lazy to make anything proper, nor am I going to post my spotty bare face when I wake up hanging on a Sunday morning. And if I'm not, you're not and nobody else is either. Don't waste time with this one, accept the lie and it will set you freeeeeee.

7. You'll probably be skint.

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Yeah, it's shit. Student loans, overdrafts, credit cards. They all come flying at you. How are you supposed to save for a mortgage? Once you've saved for the mortgage, how are you supposed to have a life? The problem here again is that you've already planned it out. We think as soon as we reach this age we'll be financially stable. It's a bit of a balancing act but a struggle that is pretty typical of being a 20 something.

8. You might not do the job you always thought you'd do.

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This is so relevant for me! I went to college, Uni and then got a pretty heavy job straight away doing what I've trained for. You can imagine the horror when I realised I'd made a mistake. A VERY EXPENSIVE MISTAKE. You don't think when you're in your 20s you'll be back at square one re-planning your career or working a dead end job. It happens to the best of us though and guess what? It's OKAY! It's better to realise now and work out what you really do want to do than spend the rest of your life working a job you hate.

9. Life does, in deed, go on.

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Finally, in the words of Noah and the Whale: L I F E G O E S O N. Your 20s are not the be all and end all. You might not even have your shit together in your 30s. So what! Enjoy the ride.

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