What Going To Prom With Joe Biden Would Really Be Like

*sound of harpsichord*

1. A high school girl in Connecticut asked Joe Biden to be her date to prom.


2. He could not attend, but sent the girl a sweet letter and a corsage.

3. Which got us thinking: What would it be like to go to prom with Joe Biden?


4. The first thing Biden would do is text ya:

5. And you would text back, “YES.”

6. Biden would pull up in your driveway like, “What.”

7. Or maybe he would just land a helicopter on your damn lawn.


8. When Biden sees how great you look he would be all like, “WhooooOOO DAAAYYYUM!”

Brant Sanderlin/Atlanta Journal-Constitution / MCT


9. And you know Biden would have his Ray-Ban #SWAG on.

10. He’d definitely be flossing his own cufflinks too.


11. Biden would then lean in to your parents and whisper:

Stringer/Chile / Reuters

And, “Don’t worry, I’ll have her back by 9.”

12. Biden: “Hop on in baby. We’re gonna be late.”

13. Your conversation on the drive will be very natural.

14. Then you’d be taken out for a casual dinner.

Via AP

15. “What you want baby? Anything on the menu.”

Via AP

16. During dinner he will laugh at all your jokes.

17. There is a strong chance Biden would spill a bit of his dinner.

18. But he has his own napkins, so no biggie.

19. It would be the most entertaining dinner you have ever had.

Yuri Gripas / Reuters

20. And this is the face he would make thinking about what to order for dessert…


21. … ice cream for sure.

22. And Biden would totally pay for everything.

23. Then you’d finally arrive at the dance in all your glory.

24. You would lose Joe for a minute because of all the selfies he would be obligated to take…

25. … and all the hugs he’d just have to give.

26. This is the look Biden would give you across the dance floor.

27. Joe probably would pull some exceptionally questionable dance moves.


Biden: “Hello people.”

28. But when you and Biden got the chance to slow dance, he would get very cuddly.

29. And as “Forever Young” pumped through the speakers, Biden would lean over and whisper in your ear…

31. And this is what your prom photo would look like:

32. Of course Biden would drop you back at home safe and sound…

“G’ night darlin.”

33. And that’s exactly what prom would be like with Joe Biden.

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