1. Every Easter, the White House lawn is opened to thousands of diverse citizens and vegetables.
2. The President gives an address flanked by a large bunny costume.
3. A Patriotic Bunny at least.
4. He then gives this ‘derp’ expression while playing a lawn sport.
5. Meanwhile, the first lady oversees a ‘healthy eating’ contest.
6. Things generally get out of control.
7. The President then reads privately to his dog.
8. The President’s children must then win a mandatory skipping contest with the Secret Service.
9. Meanwhile, the President traditionally has his jump shot blocked by a shorter citizen.
11. Then arrives the main event: The Children’s Easter Egg Roll.
12. The children will use a wooden spoon to roll eggs along a line in the grass.
13. The first to get the egg across the line wins.
14. The task is difficult and the First Family is often called upon to assist, as is the case of an errant Easter Egg below:
15. Or the First Family may simply scream encouragement at you.
16. When one loses, he or she may cry.
17. With the express understanding that one will be consoled by the leader of the free world.
18. 135th annual Easter Egg Roll: American Tradition at it’s finest.
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