It is a tough job to rule the Galactic American Empire!
1. Like when you’re giving a speech and this happens.
2. And when you are challenged to a karate contest to settle international scores.
3. When you get hug-bombed by Power Rangers in your own house.
4. You are forced to carry this around once a year.
5. You have to give back rubs to regular Americans on command.
6. Your chipping game suffers immensely.
7. People can just drive right up to your door.
8. You are judged from every angle.
9. You have to remember everyone’s name.
And their birthdays.
Sooo many birthdays.
10. You can drink, but only get buzzed. Otherwise, you might end up signing a trade agreement with North Korea.
11. People are always throwing things at you.
12. People expect you to run everywhere.
When you really just want to get around like this.
13. This is how you have to respond to a Twitter question.
14. Your vice president is always coming around, introducing his new friends.
15. The oceans did not recede when you were elected.
16. People are always messing with your stuff.
17. Your wife gets to have all the fun.
18. People who want to be president are always annoying you.
19. People keep handing you microphones, even when you’re not ready.
20. People are dropping ice cream on you left and right.
21. Clooney is always bugging you to play basketball with his friends.
22. Having to not beast-block this shot.
23. No one shows up to watch you do the stuff you really like.
24. You have to pretend to like soccer to make the Europeans happy.
25. Sometimes you have to explain things you’re really not sure of.
26. People are always challenging you to eating competitions.
And chugging contests.
27. You have to tell Will.i.am that you really like his music.
28. You really want to keep your shoes on, but you can’t.
29. Spiderman attacks.
30. Teaching people how to fist bump.
Sometimes, jerks will match your fist bump with a finger.
Or an elbow bump.
31. Summoning your staff to work.
32. Getting stared at everywhere you go.
33. And sometimes you just can’t do anything right.
But even if occasionally you’re not impressed…
…and you just want to do this…
… being president is still pretty cool.
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