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Bill Murray Gave A Breathtakingly Masterful Performance While Golfing This Weekend

"Golf was my first glimpse of comedy." -Bill Murray

Bill Murray kicked an unprecedented array of ass at the Pebble Beach Golf Tournament this weekend.

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Here is how he did it with noble cadence:

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Bill Murray became a cuss of a Scottish farmer for the first day of the tournament.

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He crushed putts and celebrated like, "What now, you lumpish boar-pig?"

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Producing this silhouette that could make Ansel Adams cry.

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He was calling the pitch like an unmuzzled cricket umpire.

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Like a hedge-born beast on the green.

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He wore this railtrain conductor's cap for one tottering, onion-eyed cameraman to gasp at.

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He took a break on a cockered volunteer's lap.

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He signed one mammering fan's face with great prejudice.

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He masterfully kicked a football held by one dog-hearted NFL player, Harris Barton.

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Of course, he made it with miles to spare.

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He found a bucket of hats. Guess what he did with them?

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He threw them to plume-plucked fans.

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"And you get a hat vassal, and you get a hat..."

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His existence is full of breathless win.

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He sat on the ground to sign personalized autographs for these tickle-brained children who probably held insufficient knowledge of his greatness.

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He gloriously drove these balls directly into our surly hearts.

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Bill Murray, one swag-bellied apple-john of a man.

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