1. North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-un is plotting in his lair.
2. But what is this? Behind Dear Leader appears to be a strategic map of the United States!
3. So first thing we can deduce is:
4. If you zoom in on the map and raise the contrast, you can see it clearer, along with bombing routes!
5. A rough U.S. outline overlay shows the potential targets:
7. D.C., L.A., Atlanta, and Honolulu: Better watch your asses!
9. If he did bomb us, he would use this special, high-tech computer/piano to launch the bombings.
10. And he would watch it like this. Smoking.
11. Watch out! Hes got a gun!
12. He may even send in his miniature army vehicles if we’re not careful.
13. So everyone, get ready!
14. Shit is about to get real.
- Nope, President Donald Trump will not release his tax returns after an IRS audit, the White House says, despite pledging to do so.
- Trump has commented on yesterday's massive Women's Marches asking, "why didn't these people vote?"
- Kellyanne Conway says White House press sec. Sean Spicer didn't lie about crowd size at Trump's inauguration. He gave "alternative facts."
- "SNL" paused the laughs for a moment last night to pay tribute to former President Barack Obama.