33 Things Obama Really Wants For His Birthday

It’s a tough life.

Barack Obama turns 52 on Aug. 4!

So what do you get for the most powerful man in the world?

32. A traveling masseuse.

…so this does not happen.

26. A full-court defense.

(Probably won’t happen.)

23. A private concerto.

22. Republicans who don’t argue.

21. A State of the Union that looks like THIS again:

20. A box for congressional leaders’ cell phones.

18. Party guests that were actually invited.

“Please, for the love of God, no more bread.”

15. An interior decorator.

14. More bow ties. (PLEASE MORE BOW TIES.)

And fewer photobombers in his cabinet meetings.

11. Protection against random superheroes.

10. You could tell him where you hid his cell phone, Miss Kennedy.

9. Spike Lee to put that thing down.

8. A larger golf cart.


6. Some antiperspirant.

4. Football lessons.

Or a pat on the cheek…?

1. A clear heir to the throne.

And if none of that works, at least you will always have:


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