The 11 Different Types Of Capitol Hill Staffers

Which one are you?

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2. Wilber Wonky


Guy who breathes, sleeps, and invests in political games. Relates every discussion to politics. Typical conversation goes:

Co-worker: “How 'bout them Capitals last night?”

His response: “How' bout the polling in Texas 4th District?”

4. Social Media "Expert"

Via Twitter: @SavvyJohn

Super socially awkward, yet in charge of social media for the member. Has no real credentials to do their job, but the member does not know a damn thing about social media, so it works out. Obsessed with member social account statistics. Currently at 36 followers on their personal Twitter account.

6. Sports Guy

Via youtube.com

Also can be named Intramural Guy. Never left sports behind after making practice squad for a community college team. Will remind you of that constantly. The office go-to person for sports trivia.

8. Puddle Jumper


Staffer always looking for the next job. Been with a different member every year and new title. Always has an "urgent email" to check at the bar while wearing their staff ID.

Contact Benny Johnson at benny.johnson+DONE@buzzfeed.com.

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