We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us their penis horror stories, and here are some of the cringe-worthy responses:
1. The blowjob with braces.
"I once dated a girl who wore braces. She was giving me a blowjob when we realised that a small piece of the wire had broken off. It ripped a nice hole in my dick, just beneath the tip."
–Robin Mopli Sjökise, Facebook.
2. The BMX stunt.
"My friend had an accident on a BMX and the handlebar travelled up into the cavity behind his penis, splitting his ball sack. To make matters worse, once the doctors sewed his ball sack back up, it went septic. He bent over to pick something up and his ball sack split back open and a load of yellow foul smelling gore came out. Needless to say he had to go back to the hospital."
3. The murder scene.
"I ripped mine during sex. There was blood squirting EVERYWHERE. My wife was freaking out at first because she was pregnant at the time and thought she needed to go to the hospital. It was like a murder scene; blood on the walls, on the chest of drawers, landing, and bathroom floor."
–John Paul Ferriter, Facebook.
4. The disappearing balls.
"I caught a knee to the nuts during a football game. One coach asked if my nuts were still in my sack. When I reached into my pants, my nuts were gone; they'd been hit back into my body. It hurt much worse pushing them back into the sack than I could ever imagine."
–Dustin Dominiak, Facebook.
5. The sharp toy.
"My son tripped in his bedroom and fell on a toy with sharp parts. The urologist discovered that he had punctured his penis in two places, and one was all the way through."
6. The elastic band snap.
"I was having sex with my ex when we stopped mid-coitus to laugh at the show that was on in the background. After a particularly long giggle fit, she thrusts; HARD. Little did we realise she had became less… um, lubricated. Ever snapped an elastic band? Yeah imagine your foreskin that's attached to your tip doing that."
7. The fungal infection.
"I developed a fungal infection on my foreskin. My poor penis got all dry and cracked. The problem with that was that my foreskin had got so irritated that it got swollen. My foreskin got so tight that I couldn't pull it back without creating micro-tears. A year and a half later my foreskin still looks a little longer than what it used to be."
8. The chapped foreskin.
"I once accidentally cut off a bit of foreskin with a pair of scissors. I had been cruising for sex in the park in very cold weather and got "chapped" foreskin (just like chapped lips). I decided that I could cure it overnight with moisturiser and a plastic covering, but I had no cling film, so I put my crown jewels in a sandwich bag and secured it in place with an elastic band. During the night I had to pee and decided to cut off the corner of the sandwich bag and that's when I cut off a bit of skin. I have to say it did hurt."
9. The dick hickey.
"When I first started having sex with my ex, I was very inexperienced and he was too nice to tell me when things weren't great. He said that once, when we were fooling around, I wasn't being very gentle. It turns out I had given him dick hickeys."
10. The peeled penis.
"When we were in high school my friend and his girlfriend started having sex. They skipped foreplay and went straight for penetration. He was sitting down and she started to go on top. There was a bit of pain, so she quickly got up and noticed a lot of blood; my friend's penis literately PEELED! His foreskin was totally pushed back and he was losing a lot of blood. He had surgery to repair his penis and was given a circumcision."
11. The broken penis.
"I was having sex with my girlfriend when the shaft came out and slammed against her pelvic bone, thus breaking my penis. It immediately went black and blue and swelled to double its size. The urologist had to perform emergency surgery to put it all back together and also circumcised me in the process so that he could stitch everything up properly."
12. The childhood trauma.
"When my husband was little, he went to pee standing up. He attempted to lift the seat but as he had already pulled out his pecker, his arms weren't long enough to put the seat all the way up and it slammed back down on it. This is one of the earliest memories he has from childhood and is still traumatised to this day. He now insists our son always has a stool to stand on."
13. The blazin' sauce.
"My boyfriend and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings and decided to try the blazin' wings. I love spicy food, but this was a whole different level. He proceeded to go to the restroom after the ordeal, and when he came back he was acting really strange and he looked sick. It turns out that when he was peeing, the sauce from his hands got on his penis and it burned like hell."
14. The wedding present.
"I ripped the skin underneath the head of my penis while having sex on my wedding night. I spent two weeks recovering."
15. The bike ride.
"I had a cousin who was riding his bike without the seat; it was basically an open metal rod with rusted sharp edges. He ended up crashing his bike and severing half his man bits."
–Stephanie Ashbly, Facebook.