Woken up in the morning and checked Grindr before anything else.Got frustrated when you had no signal to look at Grindr.Got emotional when you didn’t have any messages.Lied about your age.Haven’t filled out your bio.Haven’t filled in your stats.Profile is blank except for “meet now” as a username.Said you’re “just looking for friends” but confirmed you're a bottom in your bio.Used emojis in your username to let others know if you’re a top or bottom.Used a topless picture for your profile.Used a topless picture in your profile but said you’re “just looking for friends”.Uploaded a picture of you in underwear for your profile.Asked “top or bottom” immediately after saying hello.Asked “top or bottom” before saying hello.Downloaded and paid for Grindr Xtra.Downloaded and paid for Grindr Xtra just so you can see more men.Downloaded Hornet and Scruff because Grindr just isn’t enough.Know all the men in your area off by heart.Have more than 10 favourites.Spoken to someone and then remembered you’ve slept with them before.Sent pics claiming to be someone else.Sent old pics of Channing Tatum pretending that it’s you.Sent a pic in questionable underwear.Sent a dick pic.Sent a dick pic instead of saying hello.Created an entire folder of pictures ready to send.Have more than 10 Grindr dick pics on your phone.Have an entire folder of pictures other people have sent you.Stopped speaking to someone after they’ve sent more pics.Used Grindr at work.Hooked up with someone from Grindr on your lunch break.Used Grindr while on a family day out.Used Grindr while at church on Sunday.Used Grindr on Christmas Day.Used Grindr to look for birthday sex.Used Grindr while on a night out.Left a night out early for a Grindr hook-up.Used Grindr on holiday despite roaming charges.Looked at the men immediately after arriving in a new location.Met a complete stranger for sex.Met multiple strangers at once for sex.Met up with a tourist to “show them around”.Only slept with people from Grindr.Blocked someone after hooking up with them.Blocked someone for no reason at all.Reached the block limit almost every day.Saved more than one person in your phone book with the last name Grindr.Screenshotted a Grindr conversation and tweeted it.Used Grindr even though you have a boyfriend.Both you and your boyfriend have separate Grindr profiles.Tweeted saying “I’m deleting Grindr”Told your friends you’re deleting Grindr.Had friends tell YOU to delete Grindr.
Should You Delete Grindr?
Believe it or not, you're actually okay – you don't need to delete it just yet! You're not into discussing "dom tops" and leaving work early to have a lustful lunch in the disabled loos. But beware – Grindr is a dark hole that's far too easy to fall down!
I'm going to politely tell you that you should probably delete Grindr. It's not a matter of the utmost urgency, but you're heading in that direction. Stop using emojis to tell everybody you're a bottom and maybe you can keep it.
Stop. Delete the goddamn app and put down the goddamn phone. Did your parents raise you to introduce yourself dick first? You're going nowhere fast with those manners. Stop shaking your tallywhacker at unsuspecting Grindr folks and put yourself to some good use. Charity work, maybe?
Wait was that your, er, morals there on the floor? Delete. For the love of God delete it now. The world of Grindr has had enough of your dicks pics and your phone book cannot take anymore people with the last name Grindr. Why not try and download Candy Crush to pass the time? Go out for a nice a walk. Anything! But you, MascTop89, need to quit now.