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You Should Never Be Ashamed To Enjoy Sex And Here's Why

I like dick – what's your problem?

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1. Sluts are...not us.

Parkwood

Sex is probably one of the most natural things in the world. Let's face it, Adam and Eve had to be doing something in that garden to pass the time. Some people, who have all but confirmed they were born in the Stone Age, equate sex to practicality and not to pleasure. Well, that's their own loss. Sex is about desire, about lust, about acting on a carnal urge to pounce on a dick and ride it seven ways to Sunday (if that's your kind of thing). It's not about shaming anybody who enjoys acting on what is essentially a natural impulse. Sex for pleasure is literally the greatest discovery on this earth (probably), and there should be no shame in enjoying it. So you like sex? Good for you. Go out and get yours. Spread your legs to different postcodes if that's what makes you happy. Sex is natural, not slutty.

2. Having sex and having morals aren't mutually exclusive.

New Line Cinema

There's this dumb conclusion that the more people you sleep with, the lesser your morals must be. Well, to put it simply, that's bullshit. You could have slept with one person in your entire life, and not until you were married, and even then just once a month; it doesn't give you morals, it just makes you very disciplined at not having sex. In the same vein, you could have slept with enough people to populate a small city and have the highest moral standing of all time. If morals are defined as your behaviour in accordance to right and wrong, putting sex and morals on to the same level is to conclude that sex itself is, on some level, wrong. Again: bullshit. The only way sex and morality can be woven together is through cheating on a partner or when it's nonconsensual. Otherwise, the two play on different fields.

3. Sleeping with fewer people doesn't make you a better person.

MTV

For some people it's a case of "you've slept with that many people?", as if by extension sleeping with more than a handful suddenly makes you a bad person. There's no point helping an old lady with her bags or giving your last pound to the homeless person outside McDonald's; apparently, if you've had sex with more than three people, you're a bad person and that's that. One thing that actually makes you a bad person is judging somebody else's character based on how many people they've had sex with. People have somehow formulated that your niceness score is divided by the number of partners you've done it with, which is of course highly accurate and factual. Here's some more maths for you: You're not getting laid and you're still bitter. What does that do to your equation?

4. Opinions can be like arseholes: shitty.

Fox

Another aspect people often get judged for is who they choose to sleep with and how. The one mistake people seem to continually make is concerning themselves with other people's business. Basically, people are nosey as fuck. They want the lowdown on who you're sleeping with, they want details of your relationship with that person, and then, the worst part, they want to use this against you if they don't deem it appropriate. The NERVE! Let's get one thing clear: Another person's black book has nothing, I repeat, NOTHING to do with you. "Casual sex" has become this filthy phrase that is usually followed by opinions that weren't asked for. So long as the two (or three, or four, or five) people having sex are safe and nobody is hurt (unwillingly), what's the problem here? So what if they've been dating for three months or met three hours ago on Grindr? LET PEOPLE LIVE. You don't get to judge somebody else because of who they choose to sleep with, and you don't get to form an opinion because of it either.

5. You're doing it for the good of your health.

Comedy Central

One reason never to be ashamed of enjoying sex is that sex burns calories. That's right, sex is EXERCISE, which means it's good for your health. Let's be honest, who wants to go running to the gym when you could be running to the bedroom? Be active, work up a sweat, have a sex-made protein shake, and you'll have saved yourself a trip to that spin class you didn't want to go to anyway. Not only is sex healthy for your body physically, it can help you de-stress. Think about it: You were at work and it's been a long, tough day. What better way to release that pent-up tension than through the magic of an orgasm? Seriously, try it. It's like letting all your worries and bodily fluids go at the same time.

6. "You had sex. WHY DON'T YOU RESPECT YOURSELF?" :(((

ABC

This is the first go-to for people who try to slut-shame anybody who enjoys sex. "Why do you have no respect for yourself, don't you love yourself enough?" Bitch, I love myself just fine. Having sex is not losing respect for yourself, no matter how many times you do it or how many people you choose to do it with. Respecting yourself is about knowing what you do and don't want. If you want to open your lawn to a new gardener every day of the week, that's down to you. You're not disrespecting yourself by going and getting what you want – you're just taking control of your own needs.

7. If it's not your relationship, BUTT THE FUCK OUT.

VH1

Sex and relationships are often entwined together and held to a "normal" standard of two people having sex with each other monogamously. In 2016 that standard is somewhat dated and no longer always applies. A relationship isn't just defined as two people: Some couples have open relationships, while polyamorous relationships such as throuples exist too. How people in a relationship choose to have sex is down to them and they should be afforded the luxury of setting their own rules without judgment from others. It's cool if you don't personally think you could have a relationship that strays beyond monogamy. But that doesn't make you any better than those who decide to expand the sexual boundaries of their own relationship in the way they choose. There's no shame in exploration, only in judging it.

8. Have sex. Don't have sex. Just don't be ashamed.

giphy.com

Not everybody enjoys sex. Some people don't have time, some people don't have the patience, some people just don't see the fuss. And that's fine, there's no shame in that. But it works two ways: In the same way nobody should be shamed for not having sex, nobody should be shamed for or ashamed of doing and enjoying it. We're all mature adults here, or at least pretending to be, so it's time we got a bit more proud about saying, "Yeah, I have sex and I damn well enjoy doing it." Say it with me: I LOVE SEX. Shout it for all to hear (maybe not in your mum's face, because she probably won't be impressed) and be proud of the fact that you enjoy fucking. Go out and take a dick. Lick a clit. Come a lot or not at all. Owning your sexuality isn't wrong. It's necessary.